the state of being deluded

2010-01-27T01:48:00.001+08:00

A tad hard.

Head's heavy. Heart's hard.
Body's weary. Life's facade.

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Misguided Mind.

2010-01-27T01:39:00.001+08:00

Misguided Mind.

I have to wonder why is that people make such statements with ease

As if they have truly experience or understand everybody else’s lives.

I always think to myself:

How ignorant.

How hypocritical.

Then again, so am I.

But, I judge.

Everybody does.

It has just been annoying me.

That the closest people to me

Seem to fail me when I really needed to them to come through

I wished that with age comes maturity.

Sadly and sorely mistaken.

You, older, should stop sprouting insensitive things

Thinking that you’re right.

Belittling others for you own sadistic ego.

You feel pain?

So do others.

>You feel the world is lush and happy?

Please take a look at what’s going around more often.

Yes, to each his own.

You may lead a beautiful life.

Whatever comes at you, you take in your stride.

But please do not use your world and impose those standards on other people’s world

Especially by making those careless and thoughtless statements.

What you see is not what I see,

And not necessarily what someone else sees.

Don’t fool yourselves that the person who agrees with you all the time is the closest.

So the ones who tell you otherwise should be your enemy then?

I wonder why.

I simply can’t be bothered.

I can’t be bothered to tell you off.

Many of you off, in fact.

It would be a waste of my time.

And I would like to spare myself of some anguish I might face.

We would always compare ourselves with the people who lead better lives.

But I see my life in comparison to many others out there who still continue to suffer.

I might want to re-evaluate myself sometime now.

Especially when my state of mind is not as high and flighty as when usual.

I guess I lost many parts of myself during the process of pursuing selfish things

Selfish.

I am plainly that now.

But I haven’t lost my compassion.

I hope insensible writings like that would cease.

They are just evidence of how little you know,

Of how naïve you are.

“Now I'm told that this is life

And pain is just a simple compromise

So we can get what we want out of it”

Paramore; Misguided Ghosts

No I Don't.

2009-12-19T04:46:00.002+08:00

No I Don't.

Instead, it comes, it will be pass me by. I shall fight

Rough it out. Immerse in it. Be glad, be thankful.

Have regrets, be hateful.

I'll get through this and still know what is important.

Defining Point.

2009-12-19T04:40:00.002+08:00

Defining Point.

It’s been so long since I actually said anything here.

25 September, the last post?

Amazing.

And now.

I’ve got quite a few things to fill in

Everything is gonna come at random,

Don’t expect any connection what so ever.

I have finished by Final Year Project

Which I have to say was a bitch and I’m glad it’s out of my system

I watched New Moon this year again with my girls.

I actually had a lot of fun this year and I look forward to the next

There has been this encounter which I wish I did not put myself in

Cuz it seriously traumatized me, like mentally

I shall forget it after this. (:

It seems my house won’t welcome anyone for Christmas,

Looking its current sorry state.. Hmmm. Nope.

I went to OSchool’s Recital

And was only thoroughly mesmerized by the popping routines.

Let’s see, a new café opened up in my school.

And while time in school is still ongoing.

I’ll make sure to eat there, everyday. Probably.

Ann came back to Singapore.

And I’ve been out with her.

Gambling. Haha.

But she may be pissed with me.

God knows why.

Sihui’s baby was born on Nov 4 ^^

Cute lil bun.

I need to visit my girl soon.

See Jiemin soon.

Meet the Chinese gang soon..

Cuz I am actually beginning to feel a lil afraid.

Come Christmas.

Come birthday.

Come the day that I will have to serve.

I’ll be entering NS soon.

Excited? Yes Scared? Out of my wits, hell yes.

February 17.

And I don’t even know if Christmas or my birthday will be worth any celebration

I’m actually planning to skip it all together.

Cuz, usually it’s my call.

If I don’t say anything, it’ll fly by with just a dinner.

At a coffeeshop.

I’m actually hoping for a big celebration, secretly

(Not so secret anymore, huh)

But the more I think about it.

I’m not ready for Christmas

I’m not ready for my birthday

And all I can think about

Is what to anticipate when I go in.

And what to do should graduation come by.

Now I see why boys hate NS.

Thrown in.

Away from everyone else.

Except for your comrades of course.

Worst thing or last thing to happen:

I start forgetting everything important

That IS to me now,

Will be then WAS to me.

Life.

I’m here to remind myself.

That I treasure people close to me.

But I always seem as if I can’t be bothered.

I don’t like to take initiatives and seldom do

When it comes to social matters, that is.

And I thought the difficult part was over

When all these dates are waiting for me.

I can’t help but worry just a little.

Do I say goodbye to everything I started.

Just when I found the courage to start.

Sooner or later I’ll find myself left in the lurch to start everything anew.

Should I start avoiding celebrations altogether to prepare myself?

Significantly insignificant.

I always talk about running away.

Can I seriously run away this time?

Electrocardiograph

2009-09-25T03:03:00.002+08:00

Electrocardiograph

I just read Ryan’s blog
And to future self:
Ryan is a breakdancer who you were very fond of..
And at this point of time,
You prefer Dominic whom you probably have forgotten or grew tire of
Oh, he’s a breakdancer too.

So, yea, I’ve just realized something
How could one so detail-y and meticulous-y keep record of all those moments in life?
And to boot, have fantastic pictures to tell stories.
I am in awe and yet I am envious.

And so yea, here again, I just feel smaller than what life should really feel like
Still, I still feel trapped
And God knows why cause
As much as I try to make it all out
And guess my reasons
I still don’t know if they ever come close.

Something I am really sure of
Is that I don’t belong here
My heart is always telling me something else
Especially when I have nestled into ideas of plain comfort

Today has been hell
Cuz it’s just another battle.
I can only pretend to be oblivious
And help in little ways I can
Sure I make mistakes
Well, I get more shit than I deserve for them.

Namely, I have to say,
I WAS angry, now disappointed.
In myself and you
I do understand why you have to publically express your displeasure
You’re sad? I’m hurt.
It clearly says that my remorse does not account for anything

Same situations.
They always say same shit different day right. Yup, no doubt.
They never change because I shoulder the burden in the end.

Well, I’m only human.
And there is my fault,
I am someone, who probably needs to make effort in being nice to people.
And be straight with people
Well, I guess everything needs effort.
Here is where I want look at myself
And stare at regret in the eye
I’ll be damned if I don’t become a better person.

I do, I really do need to make extra efforts for thinking about others before myself
It doesn’t come easy for me, well maybe I guess..
I was built like that, selfish.
It breaks my heart to see myself so,
And to watch others,
Sincerely devote themselves to sincerity,
Makes choke with shame

My laughter don’t come easy anymore

But I remember a stranger told me:
Be happy.
And don’t let what people say affect
Just go ahead and do what you want to do.
Whatever happens, be happy.

So here I am.
I will be happy by choice
But I will not forget that void growing, until..
I finally understand and find that something
That God knows, and my heart urges me to do.
Perharps, I can turn back and tell my own stories

Right here, right now.
To this moment
Like the electric pulses flowing through the heart
Just measured on paper.
I shall find the pinnacle

I see that I will be compassionate
And remain passionate

I’ll reduce myself to feel whole again.

My prayer:
To find hope, the will and the way.

I have this CRUSH, BLUSH, sugar RUSH.

2009-09-24T03:35:00.008+08:00

I have this CRUSH, BLUSH, sugar RUSH.

I haven't changed,
And I still admire people who possess talents,
I aspire to have.
Guys who are plain adorable, dances, do flips, are funny and probably raps are like the cream of top of my mocha.
It just a dream cuz that's what I do best.

So here's who I've been lately been crazy over:
D-TRIX,
The Bboy that drives my hysterix?

This is where it all started:

It's just .. -_________- New found admiration..
I gave Ryan to Nana..LOL

And I tried it Hana, they won't see us, EVER!! ^^
And if Sandy says smth to me, all the better, HAHA, Tweeted, tested and proven:

Still the same old kind
Not that really hard to find
Boy, he's not refined
But I can't get him out, he dances in my mind

'The magic of the moment snuck up on me
And caught me by surprise
Roamin and I'm lonely man I'm longin
For that somethin in your eyes'

Boy, I can't contain
I just need some restrain.
It's a revival,
I'll be waiting for you arrival

Dominic Sandoval.

Brothers and Sisters

2009-09-08T09:00:00.000+08:00

Brothers and Sisters

No, I am not writing about ABC’s TV series.
And instead of writing about my day dreams
And literal sleeping dreams
Which would properly make no sense to people who would give two cents to read this blog

It should be quite dead by now
Considering my absence
People either take me too literally
Or they would try to read too much into it

Here am I
Still not sleeping
And listening the radio with Dan and Young
And they just had some dead air just as I started this line
I am sorry.
Life was kinda chaotic since erm..
Short+Sweet
Which was in er…
June? July?
I have to admit
I dread dragging my ass all the way there
The time to travel is simple mortifying
But hours spent in the train gave me time to rest
I miss it so much though ^^

Reason why I even bothered to pick my lazy ass to blog
Is because I started to drown in my thoughts again.

Brothers and Sisters.
In secondary school,
I had this thought where the girls would tell each other of how nice it would be to have a brother
Better an older one at that
Well the one simple reason is because
Because he would be protective

And thus probably the quest for a family tree in our school
Really good friends would be sought after as “korkor”s
Gah, when I look back at it.
It kind of seems stupid and childish
Because some of them had no qualities of a brother
And I for one, have been naïve to think that they were genuine friends
I might have been an extremist, so faults here though.

I will never doubt though, that I did fiercely dote on the ones that were close.
I never necessarily agreed with everyone,
But I kept them in thought as close as I would do for my siblings.. If I had any that is.

Which brings to the real subject about having siblings
My mother casually mentioned about children
And thought about the kind of elder sister I would make
It got me thinking
“Right. Just what kind of a sister would I make?”
In all honestly, I’d probably really selfish and jealous.
I guess, it’s true, being the only child
Affections are not divided but all for my lonesome self
Enough for me devour and over look it
And then taking it for granted.
I could not possibly expect to treated the same especially when you have a new family member
A bundle of joy.
Well, my friend Nini, is just absolutely the best brother I would wish that I had
For the simple fact that he loves the younger members in his family so much

Yes, I see my teacher also has a brother.
Yes, he is kinda scary while teaching
But, he seems like a great brother.
I know I may looking at the relationship from a superficial layer
But with that kind of responsibility and the positive attitude of both my teachers
And how they have this common accommodating feeling
Really made think that, relatives like that would make a person like me glow with envy

Because I would think of my mother.
Well, as close friends would know
My mom isn’t exactly in the best of states now
And I don’t know why the torment carries on
But it does anyways.
I wonder if it seems fine to continue to tell her all these things.
Cuz it seems to be adding fuel to the fire
Now that I am having a holiday
I guess I am not really giving any trouble
With school and all
Probably my driving, yes
But less of other stuff to nag me about

It worries me that my mother is riding an emotional roller coaster
Like literally.
I wonder if any one slowly watches their mother
Day by day..
Putting up a fight and getting really physically and mentally exhausted
Without anything changing.
Was my mother so unfortunate to have a brother like that?
I told her of how I am unable to understand her feelings..

She told me:
You’re lucky that you don’t have siblings

Well I wouldn’t know right?
I haven’t had any.
And people asks if I am lonely.
I am not.
There those out who might feel the loneliness but not me.
I wouldn’t know the difference.
And if I really thought about it..
I might have someone whom I really not like as a sibling
Sure there are disagreements and fights.
And being the only one seems to be void of that.

Then again on the other hand.
It would be nice to have someone to rough it out with me
(Thinking of elder brother in this picture so bear with me, HEH)
Someone would seriously understand me when I have problems close to home
Someone would have friends in high places and could gimme some “Lobang” for jobs LOL!
Someone who could get me out of trouble if I am in any and not worry the old folks about it
(Not that I get into trouble a lot, but this point would nice)
And probably just because he’s older and that spoils me like a brat,
Maybe I’ll be more a trouble maker than I am now. HA!!
Yes, a nice protective and sweet brother.

Well it sounded like a I wrote a list of ideal attributes for a boyfriend right?
Don’t think that way.
This is what I had wished for when I was in secondary school

In primary school,
It was an elder sister that I have wished for.
Someone would really pamper me and help me out.
Who knows, we could share clothes
And maybe she would have impeccable taste
And change me..
(As everyone who knows me, I’m not really a dresser but I TRY SOMETIMES)
And who knows she might be all that a brother could be.

Well all this talk about having older kin would be futile
And who knows what the future holds
Who knows if I might have a sibling who is like 20 years my junior?
Oh well, till then I’ll end here.

Sibling Synonyms:
ANN HUANG!! My mother says she loves you and misses you ^^
HAHAHA!

Whimsical Fancy: Breathing Words.

2009-08-28T06:39:00.001+08:00

Whimsical Fancy: Breathing Words.

Empty space
And a blinding white
Too empty
The silence is deafening
I bite my lips in nervousness
And peered for a sign of difference

My head whirls
I pressed my fist against my temple to hold steady

If there was such a thing as feeling a presence
Where the weight of air is denser
A heavy feeling behind
I felt it

I hold still, afraid of what I might find
My legs won’t hold me up any longer
Something really bad could happen
I might die
My mental state is not going to allow me to make any sound judgment anytime soon.

Then I felt
A sharp sensation
So cold that it assaulted my nerves
The space just below my elbows were in shock

This followed by a force that ordered me to turn
I clenched my teeth and shield my eyes
My heart beating so hard against my chest
That I could hear the rhythm in my ears

My arm was still imprisoned by the strong hand of monstrosity
Or whatever it was.
It held my arm up in the air and jerked it violently

Despite my nerves
I was determined to find out whom or what gave me the honor of this misfortune
I was greeted by eyes that looked very much humanly
Except that it had not humanly warmth
Eyes so dark that it looked like it had a never ending depth to it
Fierce and sad

My heart pumped intensely
But my breath held still

It’s a guy.
With obnoxiously fair skin but not like ivory
Not luminous but plainly fair.
He was clean looking
And wickedly beautiful

My arm was still in the air
And it seems
With a cold face
He was also analyzing the stranger sharing this asylum

Knowing the was just another recognizable being
Annoyance brewed
Who was he to hold me like that?
Especially when his hands are icy cold.

I struggled against his grip
Instead, he tighten his grip
Making my arm grow numb

He pulled me close
Our face inches apart
I was really unhappy
I stared at his face with menace
And was planning a series kicks and punches I was ready to throw

With every ounce of energy I could muster in my legs
I kick him where it hurts the most, or not.
His gut.
I expected him to convulse in pain
But he merely flinched

I inspected my arm
Which was now free
Blue stems of 5 fingers ran across
I looked at it and rubbed it with self pity

With my head still down
I looked at him
So filled with despise

In some way
He found it remotely amusing
And gave a grin
Of no good intent

He pursed his lips
My concentration focused there
when he seemed to be saying something.

“what?” I thought. “I can’t hear anything”
He seemed to notice.
But continued, slowly
He paused, probably waiting for a response
But all I did was to frown in confusion.
He understood.
I couldn’t hear anything he was saying.

Was I deaf?
No, I just heard my heartbeat a while ago.
Does that even count as a sound?

Now, I was a tad frustrated.
He ran his fingers through his hair, poised and still beautiful.
He was looking to the right, perhaps staring into nothingness
But I looked too.
Nothing. Just as I thought
He looked at me again,
This time with eyes so despairing,
It gave me a shock

He uttered something
Moving slowly as he talked.
He inched so close that I felt quite dizzy
He held my head and took the scent of my hair in

He drew me into arms and led my head to rest on his chest
“Who is he?”
In contrast to the hand that held my arm
His body temperature felt like he was feverish
My head started to hurt
It literally felt like electric pulses were shocking my brain

I cringed
And grasp into woolen jacket he was wearing.
Black, pitch black.

Is this it?

2009-06-16T22:57:00.002+08:00

Is this it?

I holdin it in again
If I could
I’d curse this whole crap
Down the depths of hell
Cuz everytime I feel it at the tip of my tongue
It feels like a whip that’s about to crack
But I’m coiling it around my consequence for the moment

That’s the easy way out
And it doesn’t do anything else.
Boys I swear can be the dumbest species
Ever known the female gender
I’m speaking from a perspective in this moment and time

Cuz I don’t know why
But my some of my guys friends
Are unbelievable fantastic
Here I am
Brooding over my tests
And the stupidity of the situation I’m in regarding my bloody laptop
And he goes off ranting about someone being pissed about..
A FREAKING MCDONALD CUP

I swear all I wanted to do was steal and return
Did it occur to you that I will just return the next time I saw you/he/she
Whichever animal on this damn planet
CHEESE
WHY?!
WHY DO YOU PEOPLE TORTURE ME WITH TRIVAL THINGS
Don’t use that “pissed” word on me
It gets me upset
And then I get mad for even being upset in the first place

And you, supposedly my good friend
Don’t act like your world is over!
You have problems and I have mine
Why can’t understand for shit that I’m in a rough patch
Sure~
It’s just a freaking laptop
And some tests~
What’s the problem?

The problem is that it’s overwhelming me
AND IM TRYIN TO COPE!
GIVE ME SOME SPACE WILL YOU!!
And stop being angry with me for being “a bad friend”
If you’d understand me
I hate to call people
Cuz I sure have the “BEST” timing of the world (just like you and you!!)
And I hate to deal with an awkward situation where
“I CAN CALL YOU LATER”
UNDERSTAND???!!!

It’s not that I never call
It’s rare ok, that’s it.

I am just thoroughly upset.
Exhausted in some ways.
I had to deal with a lady over the phone during lesson time.
And I can’t believe I had to literally shout over phone

This might pull my grade down today
It was literally like a quarrel with a boyfriend
I swear sometimes
It seems that way when it comes matters concern my laptop

I know no human being deserves that crap from me
Which is another reason to add on the list of why I never want a relationship
I’m sorry lady, you’ll never see this
But I’m sorry you had to endure this shit from me.
I guess I’ve been accomadating to so many people that
I really needed that outlet
So much for giving advice when I can’t heed my own

God, is this it?
Am I supposed to go through more?
How much more?
I know it’s a mere nothing compared to others
I pray for courage and perseverance.
It’s better than what it used to be.. I guess.

Instrument of my soul

2009-06-04T04:56:00.000+08:00

Instrument of my soul

Words will deliberately misinterpret
My tongue slurs more often
As a sign the even the well versed language
Cannot do justice to what someone has to say

By someone meaning me

I said:
If I was in pursuit of meaning
Should I be denied happiness then?

What can replace words?
A foreign language I’m only slightly similar with
What punishes the lips
And makes the ears grow fonder
Makes the heart stir
And the skin shiver

It’s only a story
A speechless one
So that one would know
But not know at the same time

A half told truth
A half told lie
That the best lie you can commit

Sentences just disgrace me
And make a living mockery out of me
Further justifying how poorly train I am in lyrics

Once in a while,
The song is much better off without the words

Touch that key, and never speak again

Being loved which And by night unbroken

2009-06-04T04:34:00.002+08:00

Being loved which
And by night unbroken

When what you want
Does not want you

Just miracles
Surrounded by chemicals

No matter what happens
I won’t give up
My heart will guide me

Dearly beloved.

If I remember - far, far away

The future shines into forever

Beneath the beautiful blue sky,

We were frightened, but only a little

In nostalgic colours, a window is stained

To turn behind, can we meet again

The future continues into forever

Beneath this huge billboard,

I want to see the fading of this time

To those never met again, somewhere

Open a window

These held hands won’t last
Once in a while I begin to want to doubt

It was never forgotten

I wonder if there will there be a photo in the next new year's card

The thing that we could not do

Comes to me so nostalgically

Hold that melody still.

The 13th Struggle

2009-05-29T00:28:00.001+08:00

The 13th Struggle

If there’s anything remotely to be depressed about now
Is that I’m still trying
Trying very hard.
Probably the hardest in my life

So much that I’m starting to build up an emotional baggage
Which I’m refusing to let go
I kept thinking about what he said
About being selfish
Giving other people your burden
I kinda get it now
Words that spill from my lips
Might do so much harm to another.
I’m not going to cause the same hurt that they caused her

I need to repeat this to myself
Not everybody will give you the credit you deserve
Sometimes you get ridiculed as a model for a learning process

I’m still trying.
Still holding it together

It’s not going to be easy
But it’s better than having to not try anything at all
I’m not a genius nor do I have a brilliant memory
Sorry if I failed as friend.

Don’t mistake timidness for arrogance

A week, a struggle
Another week, another struggle
How can I show that I’m doing my best
Don’t shame me and make feel that I’m not working hard enough

It’s getting hard to turn to people.
Cuz this is mine alone, I guess

Can I cry anymore?

My Will, Your Will.

2009-05-22T05:54:00.000+08:00

My Will, Your Will.

If God wills, it’ll be another fleeting idea
Fleeting thought, fleeting excitement
He’d wipe this temporary disease off my face
I’d cease to smile for what it is not worth for.

But then again if He wills,
He’d allow me to be in this meaningless pursuit
Cuz I’m running now and I can’t wait till I get there
I chasing after what I want.

Hell, if this is Love
I’d foolishly pursue this.
Love of life, love of something new.
If I sold my days, expect inflation for future days to come

Time is indeed expensive
Can never be taken back
I need to start rushing
Making up for lost time

The reason for not sleeping I guess now
Is knowing that I had time in my hands
But I wasted it away
And I was making up for it.

Long Live Life

2009-04-25T01:00:00.003+08:00

Long Live Life

I used to rule the world

Seas would rise when I gave the word

Now in the morning I sleep alone

Sweep the streets I used to own

I used to roll the dice

Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes

Listen as the crowd would sing:

"Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!"

One minute I held the key

Next the walls were closed on me

And I discovered that my castles stand

Upon pillars of salt, and pillars of sand

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing

Roman Cavalry choirs are singing

Be my mirror my sword and shield

My missionaries in a foreign field

For some reason I can't explain

Once you go there was never, never an honest word

That was when I ruled the world

It was the wicked and wild wind

Blew down the doors to let me in.

Shattered windows and the sound of drums

People couldn't believe what I'd become

Revolutionaries Wait

For my head on a silver plate

Just a puppet on a lonely string

Oh who would ever want to be king?

Tears filling up glasses

2009-04-12T03:35:00.002+08:00

Tears filling up glasses

In my head I wanna drown my sorrow
But what sorrow is there
Familiar face
Exactly the same case

I feel that I’m going nowhere
I’m running in circles
Running then walking
But still in circles
Feels like nowhere
Like everywhere is nowhere

I find it very easy
I find it hard to take

When would it end
When would I miss it

What I got wasn’t what I saw
Felt like I could be naive
Felt like I’m just senseless

Cuz nothing much sense

People start on a fresh page everyday
I’m stuck on the same one everyday
Grey figure, fade away
I’m stuck here alone again

When I see you I might change
But when you leave I’ll go back the same.

Now I believe that I am everything
Only in my head.

And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen

Hold still until something changes for me.
And not me for something.

Rain is falling, like.. Lollipop-pop

2009-04-05T04:10:00.011+08:00

Rain is falling, like.. Lollipop-pop

Despite People’s Association actually sending the allowance

(Like after a gazillion years)
I’m still broke.
Which is kinda good.
Cuz if I cultivate this habit when I’m richer
I’ll be a hell lot richer.

Then again, maybe not.

Was too lazy to update

Sorry.

I compose blog post in my head

But never got to writing them down

Another bad habit that needs to be burned in hell

YES, YOU LAZY SHITBUM!!! YOU HEAR???!!!

YOU LAZY BEING CAN KISS MY AIRS AND BURN IN HELL!!

Good thing is:
I’ve been changing habits lil by lil
Eating less junk
Doing more stuff (ie. 'bike-ing')

I have been hanging around Belle lately
One night it was Belley, Rexy and me.
Distance wasn’t much but we sure had fun

Bishan to town with regular traffic
Broke as hell
But the naan place remembered me (:
And gave nice discounts
And we literally gave all the money in our pockets.
Yes. How generous.

If I was a rich girl.

Nana-nana-nana-na~~~!!!!!

I would get my yellow shades back

I would fly to Japan and then to Korea

And then buy lots of stuff

And then I'll sell like mother father sister and brother!

I'll take the freaking moolah and do it ALL OVER AGAIN~!! WOOHOO!!!

About yellow shades:
I’m quite crazy about neon colours.
Another phase, I guess

But I had one from the Rockstar camp
Which actually broke,
Much to my distress, dismay, discontentment
This, this level of stress is overwhelmin’

And speaking of phases.
No.
My boy obsession is not over.
I’m still stuck on the same one.
This might be the worst one though
I have reoccurring smiles of random

Not good.

But “I can’t be F***ed”
(sounds fimilar, someone??)
Who cares if my boy is not appealing
“Ugly, blah, blah”
He’s mine, not yours

Don’t worry that means:

You have better taste than me
Good for you
So you should feel happy (: for me getting a less appealing boy
So you can have a better one to show off

NOW, I guess Hanali can now understand me a lil better
Cuz she’s acting up for a certain Hogwards emo-hair boy

Going coockoo-ly at his picture (I emphatize)
At least she met him
Took a picture with him
(which got lost btw)
I know.
Trust me, I’ll be a hoping crazy mad ass if my photo (with ahem ahem) got lost
Especially if that’s the only bloody copy I’ll ever have.

I won’t be as calm as you.

Emphasiza~!: WON'T

OK. Reality Check again.

Geeeez
I can’t stop harping on the fact that I’m bloody broke like a Mother Cowzzzz
And how I can’t find that job that will get me out of this sorrowful plight
It’s a freaking sale everywhere I go!!!
Andand… Ee.. .. (sob sob)
Bloody sorrowful state I swear.
I never wanna be here again!

My Yellow Broken Shades Blurdzy Hell!! Sway like shit.Just like a maybe rockin' band

Help anyone?

God?

Gold Dust

2009-03-17T09:08:00.000+08:00

Gold Dust

I’m doin things to drive myself crazy
Not too young
Not at all old
But it’s late
To start.

Heck
‘m gonna do it!!

But.

Sunshine ain’t coming up anything soon
Whole bloody freaking week rain!

Got no sleep
But I got some goody bag
For helping Bryan out (THANKYUUU~)
Yest, I made sure I did my stuff

I want my kimchi ramen
Nabei!

Oooh
I went out with Nana on Sunday!
<3
Chillax at TCC
Over some nice strawberry dessert

God.
Please give me a miracle
Like the resource to make things happen for me
You know?

Fredy, I hope that I’ll be joinin you soon~

Dream situation: So Close to GooDness

2009-03-15T18:07:00.003+08:00

Dream situation: So Close to GooDness

A dark house
My house

BaBy came over
For some reason
There this really BIG guy too

So all congregate at Meme’s room
Bebe laughs while I talk to Big Guy

Can’t bother with them
So I rolled over to Jiji
Swagger anyone?
“Have you been to the shop”
He seem to unresponsive
Concentrating on his text

He flashes the phone
“Swagger” and “cool”
Parts of the text that I remember
The words were not separated by space

Frustrated
I asked again
He refused to reply
I bugged him to answer me
Haha.
Then I realised
Something was going on with his throat
His voice was hoarse
He proved his point with his childish ways

No, he never went to the actual store

Gahh, disappointed..

If we were at the living room
He waved for me to go back to Meme’s room
He’s just full of plain kiddy awkward-ness
Kiss goodbye
2 Ice
Giggles
It was so close to goodness~

Lo Ve

2009-03-08T23:23:00.003+08:00

Lo
Ve

My whole day yesterday
Was pretty much fun filled
Belle was out early
To run away I guess
I was up early
Cuz I didn’t sleep..
Again
Or not much..

So first I was pissed
At the fact the weather was soo
Unfriendly!
It was right after the rain
And opposed to being cool
It was hot and humid
A few steps and water all congregated at my face
Zzzzzz

When I finally got at HMV
We still have to wait
The event apparently haven’t started
Poor girl must have waited for the longest time

It was pretty boring at first
But I guess on the whole,
Watching the guys do push ups,
It was fun

If it was anything

Belle was funny

At how she was so shy,

Vivian's her fav

(Weird till Bryan reminds me of Vivian Balakrishnan)
I prefer Ling.

Though not so outstanding..

We had coffee at Starbucks

I had my quiche
Belle wasn’t her best
And that was the time when
I made the decision to not go for the party

But we managed to cover the one place I’ve been
Wanting to step into
And that is
Louis Vuitton!!!
Mother COW!!
I was gloriously happy
Especially when I saw the collab with the graffiti prints
The scarf, the GD sneakers and then bracelets!!!!

I saw this lady bought the same bag
In multiple colours
And that a load of LV bags!!!
I must say or add
I hate LV
Especially with the hype over the monogram and all
But when they came out with the graffiti
I was..
GAH~~~~~~ Ubberberrrberr berrr~

It must have sucked all the engery outta me
Cuz I was soo sleepy after that.
Belle wanted to get shoes
(which we didn’t get any in the end)

We walked into Bebe and warehouse
And then head all the way down to Novena
To find all the medical shops closed.
Zzzzzz

The other thing I truly enjoyed
Was to just to sit down at this Korean restaurant
Try some kimchi
Sit down and appreciate all the food on the table

Really tiring
But to say the least memorable.

Love Lock Down

2009-03-07T03:14:00.001+08:00

Love Lock Down

Urgh. Unhealthy obsessions
Ain’t healthy…

It’s now on revamping my wardrobe
My taste isn’t cheap
I’m not saying that it’s good though
It’s queer but
Never cheap

And that boy
Has a thing on me
It’s an effect
Which I’m pretty sure
Will wear off over time
Like every other
He got me hooked

I am now quite desperate
I need a lot of money
Like a lot
It’s greed, I know
But I need..

I’ll work something out
Hopefully soon
Soon enough I’ll find what I want.

Fool

2009-03-05T06:03:00.003+08:00

Fool

Yes, I dream with my eyes open
Cuz the dreams in my sleep are not to my liking
Too random
Or my favourite ones are too short,
Too little detail, wrong details.. blah blah blah

What keeps me going now,
Is just what I wanna buy
To prep for next year
Probably looking forward to school too
And what comes after that

That is to fly and go to Japan
I really can’t wait!!
Everything free and easy
Running around like a wild child
Get a piercing while I’m at it
Prep myself before I suffer yes?

And maybe.
Since Mel gave me the idea
I might pop over to Korea since it’s so near..
Then again I hope I have the cash to tide over.
I should be ok.

I’m writing my goals soon..
To drastically pull all my grades with one year!
Come on girl~
Hey ANN!!
Babe don’t be a worrywart
STOP worrying!!!
Strangely, I seem to be like easy going now.
Not stressing much
It’s scary~
But I’m kinda ready (:
And girl, guess what.
The stuff I want from Billabong amounts to prolly 600!!
Mothercow..
So many la I want..
And that’s the list that was cut down..

Mailing you soon just so that you can pop over to check whether it’s there
(WHEN YOU HAVE TIME!)
No worries
I’ll get cash over first..
AND!!!
Since I made a deal with you.
I hope that deal applies to you!!!
Don’t kao pei all!!
Cuz it’d better apply to you!!!!

Today should be better
I’ll be out and about
Shaking off that ill syndrome!!
It’s been making me greedy
Taking more sleep than I actually need
Maybe air outside can help.

Random thought:
Am I going to carrying on fantasizing forever?
Or am I really going to be what I make myself to be?
What I make my life to be..
What do I even make my life out to be?? =.=’’
Hey boy~ Where in the continent of America are you??!!

사랑한다 안 한다 사랑한다 안 한다
돌아온다 안 온다 그립다..

Swagger; Sicker than a flu

2009-03-02T23:58:00.003+08:00

Swagger; Sicker than a flu

Yes that bad.
For about a week or so.
I believe the diagnosis for my illness had pretty much evolved
The first doc (who came miserably late)
Gave me medicine for the common flu (I guess)
He never even told me what I was sick with

My throat was givin’ me hell
I sounded like a tranny when I talked
All the food the I wanted to eat..
See no touchy..

I got a second opinion from another doc
And next tonsillitis
Mother! I was pissed
For days I was takin medicine that didn’t even help!!

And by Sunday morn
I found myself in the waiting chairs of TTS
I was coughin my guts out
Like freakin Bloody Sunday
And then suddenly they its pnemonia..

Gahh, being sick is such a waste of time
Completely unproductive
I’ve prolly been spreading germs all over the house
One whole week.
Plus plus plus
Wasted.

My sleep has gotten peaceful
Without me having to pace to the basin every 10 seconds into my sleep

Something that I learn yest:
Sickness kinda brings people together
For my fam to gather at the dinner table
Was really queer and I mused over that fact
All but one were sick
Eating experimental food. (:

Didn’t make the cut.
But I kinda expected it
I shall figure something out.
I have too many ingenious ideas sometimes. (:
Nana, no worries
We'll all get through this...
It's not over!!!

Last night/this morning,
I saw you in my dreams
Now I can’t wait to go to sleep

That woman, she..

2009-02-13T03:50:00.003+08:00

That woman, she..

Might have too little trust in me
Especially if she chooses to believe
What her best friend has to say bout her own blood
Or whoever who has to give their 2 cents worth about
What I “apparently said”
It doesn’t matter who said what

But you shit head!!!
You make me pissed now.
Just because you tell everyone EVERYTHING
Bout yourself
Please,
Mind your own shit head business!!!

I despise you now
Because you are the freakin messenger
Can’t you keep your bloody mouth shut?!!!
What good does your looks serve when you brain is useless?!
CHEESE!!!
In one freaking day!!!!
You manage to break the peace that I painstakingly preserve
PLEASE!!! Go to hell.

As sweet as your image is in front of me,
I am bloody pissed with you!!
You don’t know me,
And you act as if you are oh-so-important

Seriously,
I knew shit like this was going happen
One way or another,
You are going to screw it for her
And wow, you actually manage to screw things for me too
Are freaking happy now??!!!

Are you satisfied that in the wee hours of the morning
I had to clean up the shit that you left!!

You didn't bother about the consequences

And you chose to get involved!!

You do not have any right
Not only did you open your shit ass mouth
But you also made my loved one doubt me!!!!
YOU ASSS!!!!

Thank you very much now
Thank you for all the shit that you have given me
Let me remind you!!
You don’t freaking know me.
So don’t be a bitch just because your own life is screwed!!!

Don't screw mine over!

Ice water on the house

2009-02-12T06:12:00.004+08:00

Ice water on the house

I had a secret escape with JM & some of her friends
Nice friendly bunch
But apparently the night had to be cut short
Cuz the drinks were free like water
While tap water was apparently scarce,
In other words, not provided, not sold, whatever

I must say,

I like the sweetness
I may had one too many for my good
I wasn’t drifting off just yet
But rather considering the amount of calories coming back to me
Noting that I worked out in the afternoon.

If JM wasn’t spilling her guts out
I would have, might have,
Just had too much to drink

A good hour and long minutes with her
Long enough for my recovery
So when I went to get water for my poor girl
I got it from some bartender who refuses to speak
Probably smart cuz no one would hear him anyway
He made me wait after some funny gestures
Handed me a glass of ice water
With a black card which say
“This bar does not serve ice water”
=.=
Yes, I know what the hell...
So I asked “How much?”
Assuming that I need to pay
He shook his head..

And waved off the glass,

As if he gave me A BIG TREAT~~~ =.=
Haha!! Tap water on the house..
WOW~
But to give him credit
He’s cute

If he wasn’t I would have made alot of noise about that black card.
So you gave me water even though you’re not supposed to?
Righteous.
(HAHA! iShah, I stole your line and I’M NOT SORRY!!)

Gahh, which reminds me.
I need a job.
(mope, moping, mope-ded)
Or gimme something to doooooo
Like fly to Korea~ (smirks)
Or have some God-like prince waltz into my path..
AND THEN PAY FOR MY TRIP TO KOREA~~~~ :D

And to my baby girl:

Don't F me for saying this or copyin it from your blog but..

If ever,

You really need someone to

"lie on the grass with you and stare up at the busy sky while the cool evening breeze blew past just silence golden silence"

Find a nice patch of dry green grass

I can follow you.

...

It's just a thought..

Don't Fish me...

Names of “Affection”

2009-02-11T04:17:00.002+08:00

Names of “Affection”

I can’t help it
But this thought rushed in
Your names of affection is inconsequential
Especially if people can’t tell the difference
Between calling a loved one, a friend or a stranger

All the names are practically mixed around
You throw the most familiar ones at the different people
If they gathered at a table,
They just can’t figure their ‘names’ out.

Somehow or rather,
Calling a given name feels most affectionate,
Since everyone else is giving & calling people names other than their given names.
Confused?
Go figure.

Embarrassment.
Once bitten twice shy
I don’t want to remember anything that caused this

I shall not write cuz I’ll forget it eventually

Sometimes or one day,

I hope that you won't overdo the theatrics,

Stop changing the same story,

Don't make it over the top when it is not..

Cuz I do get it from you...

I spent it with Chrissy-Belle though
Yest and today.

AHHhhhh,
Noodles at Din Tai Feng...

At 6:15 AM..

2009-02-10T06:15:00.007+08:00

At 6:15 AM..

I am staring face to face

With a full moon.

Literally.

"I did it for love"

And now I am insanely

Talking to the moon.

Wishing for something impossible.

Sealed with a blow kiss.

Unforgettable Nights till Unregrettable Dawns

2009-02-08T23:08:00.003+08:00

Unforgettable Nights till Unregrettable Dawns

It becomes exciting
Haru Haru~

Frustrating.
Cuz sometimes it feels meaningless

But glad.
That I’m living in the moment.

Tuesday, 3rd.
I had an explicitly good time @Big Night Out
With Godma, I had the chance of screemin’ out loud
WITH PRODIGY!!!! XD
Apparently alot of pple never even heard of them
But they heard their songs definitely
AWESOMENESS!!!
It was like sweating even in the cold wind!!
Unbelievably good feelings~~

And on Saturday,
I had this big gathering @KJ place
Very happening!!
Very cherished moment
It feels like everyone grows up too fast
We watched each other through our awkward moments.
And there we are
The boys all going to NS
And all their aspirations were like placed on the table
GAH!!

I had my hand at 21 again
Then free mahjong
For Vincent to learn
And the game Naruto which I suck miserably at.

One night till the break of dawn:
JM and Xiang’s online escapade
Kai’s understandable enragement
KJ’s annoyment with me. LOL
I insult him too much
And he can’t stand it
Hehehehee~

Might have a chance at that trip afterall...

Might~

Ends well..

A song of anguish,
Sounds like a song of jubilance.
A song of new beginnings.
‘You should be happy if you are like this’

Sudden random thoughts

2009-02-02T07:01:00.009+08:00

Sudden random thoughts

Wow, I’m on a blogging spree
Happens when I can’t sleep during the holidays

Hey Ann,
Just saw in the news
That your ‘home’ is burnin up
As if in the temperature is literally killin people there
Like some guy died of heat stroke..
Girl, please don’t die of heat stroke..
It’s kind of a stupid way to die..
I’m gonna put more “...” just t irritate you
You’re prolly gonna die of me irritating you rather than a heat stroke
Just be careful alright..
Put ice in your clothes...

Hahaha.
I have new catch phrases when I played mah-jong
Some which I failed to blog about
Here they are:

Ti-ki” Something which means
Arrogantly stubborn
(The “Ki” has a punch to it, say it with force)
OH!! I love the way it sounds!
I keep telling them how I’d name my Jap spitz “Ti-ki"
"Bo Ko Leng”
Which means
Cannot be
HAHAHAHA!!!
I like this one also..
Chris said it on the mah-jong table
And it had a nice ring to it..

And as proof that I actually looked up the guy
I give you Dean FuFu
LOL!!
Not bad la, he.
Sorry babe, but I'm very adament on JJ
Kick my sorry ass if you will..

Don't know what your doing to me with your love
I'm feeling all super human, you did this to me
A super human heart beats in me

Stupid boys

2009-02-02T06:44:00.004+08:00

Stupid boys

I initially plan some long mighty post
But not I don’t wanna start some blog riot:
Any girl vs boy think, no
Even if I placed my opinions as a biased female
No one will ever take it lightly
I have guy friends
And no, I’m not keen on what they have to say,
If I gave my 2 cents worth about some boys
Emphasis on: SOME

I’ll just sum up my thoughts like this:
If you’re not all that
Don’t act like some big ****
If you have high standards,
It’s really fine
But stop imposing those standards on other people

To Ann and Iggy:

No, it's not related to me, don't read too deep into it

City Alive

2009-02-01T23:27:00.002+08:00

City Alive

Despite clashes
I still made decisions
Having my best interest

I set out to paragon to myself another birthday treat
I’m a major narcissist in that way I guess
I pamper myself way too much sometimes
Well maybe that cuz I signed a deal to put myself through hell
Oh well
Place: Bakerzin
Food fetish: Tapas (2 vanilla crème brule and 1 strawberry choc fondue) &
Penne with ham in pink sauce

I was a tad punctual if I say so myself
HEEE!!!
Well, it was amazing that we didn’t have to do much
There were few good looking guys
REALLY GOOD LOOKING ONES stared at May and Nana

(envious grin)

NONONONO!!!

I told myself to cover my eyes and not oggle at ANY BOY!!

My only one is "Hwaiting" XD
LOL!!!
I must say it was amazing with the girls around
Adeline, Azie, Ying and a guy, Satish

Funkamania: Predictable top 3

But pink dollars totally rocks my socks!!

So DIVA!!! I Likeee!!!

We were a bunch of brilliant people for the day
With Nana having the thought of going to the seats
My thought of attracting Oli’s attention with our whistles
And May for actually inviting us to the event!!!

Nana, Satish and I had pictures of DJ Sarasa, Sassy Pendez & KoFlow
I actually let the DJ walked pass me quite a few times before actually
Becoming aware of their identities

Tiring but yea
Anything for something new.

The Star in Cassiopeia

2009-01-31T01:24:00.001+08:00

The Star in Cassiopeia

Ticket booking was open on the 29th
And I came back to Bishan after watchin Bride Wars
With all the girls and the 2 boys
I wanna watch it again
It’s almost hard to believe, the story
But I loved how deep friendship can run like that

After few hours, it seems like I won’t be seeing him in person
Not in this lifetime.
He’d be microscopic anyways

I’d occasionally drown in delusional thoughts during mah-jong
Laughing and dreaming out loud
Which lifted the spirits of those at the table
The game gets dull after sometime

Allow me to dream
Cuz my only lost would be it for to never happen
Nothing more that right?

It was almost lifelike
I could actually feel myself nesting in that warm embrace

My cheeck against the thick sleeve of a brown coat

You’ll be nothing more than a star in a constellation
Beautiful and far out of reach

The art of losing and not kao pei-ing

2009-01-29T13:51:00.005+08:00

The art of losing and not kao pei-ing

I can’t do it..
It feels like shit to lose
But I need to suck it up in my gut
And then go home and kao pei
Why the heck would I even to agree to gamble in the first place
Ah, but it would be different if I had won
So I need to learn how to lose
Cuz with every lost there is a win
Not necessarily me
But I need to understand that

Well regarding lost,
Over the span of 3 days
I have noticeably lose quite an amount of hongbao cash
The night of losing was at Ben’s house
(Ann’s brother, Aron’s friend)
Stupid “In between” game set me back by alot
I wanted to die and cry
Or cry and die
But I had alot of fun
With another De Souza
Some guy who worships this guy on a milo pack
(He thinks milo-pack-guy brings him good luck)
And another guy who was sooo quiet the whole night
Until he confidently shouted for a “WHOLE POT”
To which he lost a terribly huge sum
And to which everyone had to have a good laugh at
He ended up in one corner hugging a bolster
While everyone try and recoop playing black jack

The second day,
I was more hopeful
And had Iggy listen to my endless rant
Of delusional richness
Like striking Toto and winning 10million DOLLARZXZXZZZZZ
And how I plan to recoop my lost
We met Ann at her place before going to her aunty’s

I swear Iggy has unnaturally good “luck”
If luck ever existed
Or by luck, I can mean God’s blessing
He was on a roll
Winning like shit

While I was losing like shit
WHY???!!!
Am I a bad person??!!
Do I deserve it?
Maybe..
GAHHH!!!

The next day
Early afternoon,
At Ben’s place
Where he had some lion dance thing going on

Ben loves bullying the dancers
I lost another considerable amount to Ann
(Kejun calls me stupid for playing)
How was I to know..
I was a noob can

That same day
We went to the new granny’s place
And I think I lost abit
Lose, Losing, LOST, LOST-DED-DED!!

The feeling was crap
But it’s normal right
I gambled so,
It goes both ways
Oh well (shrug)
My mom had to listen to me kao pei-ing
HAHA! Not that I literally kao pei
But I had to say something like
“I confirm going to win that 10millionzzz!!!!”
To make myself feel better

It works.
All the time..

Majong with Meemee
Ann called me when she was leaving
As usual she comes up with some bullsheeeet
Before actually telling me she was leaving already
I was sooooo sad I tell you!!
I can’t emote my words properly too la
Apparently of late, I can’t really console people or react accordingly
(shrugs) Don’t know why
Anyways, imagine me at the mah-jong table
Trying not to cry
I was like going to have emotional breakdown at the stupid mah-jong table
And yes, I need to tell myself that the world is connected
To console myself... again

Pathetic sheet.

Yesterday till this morn
Was at KeJun trying recoop
With WeiSheng and Jie Min
I rather break even serious-ly
But after losing what I won in the beginning
I put my 10bucks on the line
The one that I painstakingly held on to and made sure
I don’t lose it..
I wasn’t going give that note to KeJun
Even if I lost to him
Hee. I hit the black jack with that note
HAHA!!!!

Sorry la boy,

I feel kinda bad~

I hope you kao pei...

Seriously,
Lady Luck
Stupid big ***k

New catch phrases: "Meh-meh~" "Ying liao lor!!!"

Choikang Chiang Chiang Sai

2009-01-25T05:45:00.004+08:00

Choikang Chiang Chiang Sai

Ah~ 12days, close to 2 weeks
So many genius-like compositions are left to dwell in my...
Pool? Lake?

Where ever they dwell in..

Schools out!!
Depressing those last days
I was really hardworking for one of the last problems
Which made me think about something Nana mentioned
About me being hardworking last semester
Well I guess I gave off lazy impression this sem
Considering that I didn’t even produce one of the signature ppts

I've been feeding off people's hardwork..

But I do make sure I understand~~~
GAHHH!!!

Was planning to blog on Meemee’s return!!
Was sooo happy~ Hehe
Especially when I heard her voice
Tuesday morn, 5am, was her return
As the loving mother that she is
She brought loads of goodies!! WOOHOOO~
On the same day,
Met up with Godmama,
Must say that her boss’s house was almost dreamlike
GAHHH!!!
Along with Eric & Germaine in the cab
I told them of how I would jog around that particular residential area
And hopefully meet some son of super multi-millionaire.
Then again I’d kick myself for doing that!!
I will never allow that desperation of any sort to bruise my ego
That aside.. I thoroughly enjoyed that day
With my fam, we dine at some artsy fartsy dessert place
Tried the Cheese Avalan-cheee, Trix, Hot chocolate with churros
I had a glass of ‘mos-qui-to’
Ahh, happy day~~ :D

OK!! I shall skip the details of my pointless
Day-by-day situations and run to the main points
How depressing it is to know
That I can’t get tickets for the concert that I wanna go to
I know, NOBODY gets why I wanna go so badly in the first place
Fine by me
Lemme be crazy for a while longer, can?
I need this kind of sustenance, alright~
BUT!!! I recently found that probably God has given me a chance~
PROBABLY!! I pray that I’m provided with the resources and such!!

JJ~ I MIGHT SEE YOU~~~~ ^^ (echoes "might")

I been a crazy mad girl once again looking for internships and job openings
Don’t give up~ Nothing comes easy~ (chants)
Well, I’ve been blessed on volunteering side
AHHH~ A few opportunities here and there
Excited, nevertheless..

AND!!! On Friday, I had like 2 bombs dropped on Amanda’s Avenue
Firstly, I’m not going for the Melbourne trip
Funny how I was feeling ok about it.
Not utterly depressed or anything
Hopeful still, but a funny feeling of not being able to go as a gang
Gosh, I was thinking mafia excavation on dinosaur fossils
I don’t care if I brought back a dog bone or cockroach fossil for my Mom.
Just lemme go there and bring smth back!!! GHEEEEEEEE!!!!!
(shrugs)

Secondly, our Project title came out..
I’m alright with proteomics
But I’m... just alright with it.. =.=
OMC!! What a useless feeling..
I should be ecstatic or something
But nothing particularly drove me nuts

Even as we walked back and have clouds parting for sun rays to come through
(something that you’d pretty much say that it was Heaven’s job)
I was still... neutral-ish
I know, what the heck is wrong with me..
I don’t know...

Friday ended nicely with the briefing for CITY AUURRLIVVEE!!

HOOOWEEE~~

Well, at least I could say something different about today!!!
Sat spring clean~
Early early, out and about for my organizer AND
MY FREAKING GINORMOUS CALENDAAAARRRRRRRRDARDARDARRRRDADADADARRRR!!!!
^^ So freaking flabbergasted .. (shivers and grins happily)
Aiyooo, he wore his glasses!!!! (sighs)
(faints)

Feeling of accomplishment today man!
My room cleaned!!
Being deranged in the house cuz I was pressin’ for time
Andand I made in time for Ann’s steamboat
Played mahjong with her bro and cuzzie

Was a blast man!! Lovely and RIOTY~
My cards were pretty good (:
But I didn’t think cash was involved..
I won quite abit..
But I had this sense of guilt that I plucked from a tree
I think I feel too much of unnecessary feelings

BUT..
I just met the cuzzie and he lost quite abit..
AND on top of that he sent me back as well
Feeling a bit bad..
You’re never gonna read this blog but sorry~~ ):

Oh! I don’t why but I realized something
Mentioned quite a few times:
When I said sorry too many times
Meemee’s gang was telling me I shouldn’t apologize for everything
That was quite some time ago but they said some how
It loses it meaning like any other repeated word will
And then Ann tells me that I don’t sound sorry when I say sorry
When I really am.
Cheese.
Maybe I should say... “I apologize” instead.
Or not say sorry when I am
Or don’t feel sorry at all.
=.=

Moment of brilliance:
Pictures they sometimes tell a very truthful lie.

Words that I like to repeat in my head @random times:
Choikang Chiang Chiang Sai, Choikang Chiang Chiang Sai, Choikang Chiang Chiang Sai

White sails

2009-01-13T02:44:00.003+08:00

White sails

Meemee had just left the house..
Shit, I’m going to miss her
I spent today out with her
Scampering around Jurong Point
I finally found my DongBangShinKi DVD
But Meemee told me not to get it

I guess she was right..
But I kinda still wanted it
No, don’t
Japan, Japan, Japan
Korea, Korea, Korea
Melbourne, Melbourne, Melbourne.. (chants)

I was in another one of my DBSK fit today
I badly wanna get their concert tickets in Korea so badly
For the fact that it’s where they’ll be starting their tour
And it’s their homeland
And not to mention the shopping I get to do while I’m there
AHHHHH!!!!!
I missed the chance again today
And there I was frantic about in class

My 8am became 8pm
GAHHHH!!!!
And nice Nana had to help me
Cuz I was with Meemee
She was like reporting the whole situation la
Omg. I’m sucha gong
Sadly within minutes, the ticket all got snapped out
(sinks)
So depressing can??!!

Meemee wasn’t all smiles when she left either
Upset over the results, I guess
):
Hais, I stuck and caught here again.
Need wings to fly soon..
'Fly away, Fly away, Fly away, Fly to the top
Fly forever'

Jesus, please keep her from harm
And bring her home safely.

Fake your birthday cake

2009-01-11T02:57:00.003+08:00

Fake your birthday cake

Oh cheese pie.
It’s been 11 days
Since I left this place completely untouched
My new year was simple
Completely nice and mellow
Just the way I would rather have it
I remembered spending pass new years horribly
Totally moping in my own nest
However, this year was just Ann, the gang,
Some fireworks and a nice comfy movie @a friend’s

Yes, I have kissed my eighteens goodbye
Sincerely, thank you to those who remembered,
That quite tragic day of turning nineteen (drama-tised crying)
Nevertheless, I spent it with the special people in my life
And of all things.. We actually forgot the birthday cake!!!
Well Mama made up for that~
Getting me a nice rich choco cake XD

On the 3rd, bowling with Iggy and Ann
Ann left for HK on the 5th I guess
Oh wells (shrugs)
Hope you’re having fun you CHAO CHICKEN!!
Ha! Wow it’s been really fast:

FYP coming up

Just went to TP for some open house with Nana
To which I decided to skip and gallivant around Tampines

Planning for lots of trips
Like Japan, Korea and Melbourne

Moping for my stupid broken com screen GAHH!!!!

But can’t wait for holidays to arrive WOOHOO!!
I just wanna momentarily leave here!!!
I wanna see DongBangShinki!!!!

And my love for Jae grows everyday!! ^^
And I when I think think about Micky’s super sexy voice~~ (melts)

I smile to myself about him.. (Yes, I know.. How irky!)

OMC!! I LOVE ‘EM ALL!!!
Yes, slap me please~!!
But seriously, I don’t get my own obsession
I day-dream about them all the time that it’s ridiculous!!
And there’s no way on earth I am going to meet them under normal circumstances
Even if I do meet them, they won’t understand a shit of what I’m speaking
So yes, throw that foolish idea AMANDA DE SOUZA!!

Ok.
Seriously, shut up now!!

Season of Joy

2008-12-31T13:42:00.002+08:00

Season of Joy

22 Dec
Monday
Cleaning day
Went to Jem’s house

With the twins, Amanda, Freda, Gene and Daisy
Had salad, steak and mashed potatoes
Met Jiemin at Mc's
Went back home to continue clean-up

23 Dec
Tuesday
Peigen’s house
Craved for meat ball @Ikea
Went with Adel, Azie & Nana (:
Went to chillax at Eski then Fashion bar

24 Dec
Wednesday
Christmas Party @my house!
Went out to shop for groceries
Went to town to get my stuff
Iggy brought ANN (:

Stupid traitors!! LOL!
Went for mass
And brought Azie and Nana

Party ended early but Ann stayed
Chit chat

25 Dec
Thursday
Went godmama’s house Christmas morn
Slpt
Went to Ann’s place for mah-jong

26 Dec
Friday
Went little india
Wax
Roasted naan
Shop at plaza sing

Lovely hoodie from Korea XD

And wings for earrings!!
Went to Abby’s place
Thank you loves, Abby & Von for really wonderful gifts!!

27 Dec
Saturday
Finally watched Angus Thongs with Nana&Azie
Went to watch Faizal’s gig with Ann @Haji lane
Makan with Ann and waited for the black man
Got locked out of my house =.=
Bunked over at Iggy’s

28 Dec
Sunday
Came back to wash up
Head to Ann’s for mah-jong
Makan with her bro @Mc’s

29 Dec
Monday
Went to AMK to get her anime
Went for pasta and walked around J8

30 Dec
Tuesday
YOG meeting @Cathay’s Ben&Jerry’s
Ramen @Robertson Quay XD OIISHHII!!!
Went about Meidiya @LiangCourt
Ann’s mummy fetched us back

It just for memory’s purpose
Cramping every detail won’t serve the post any good
But I must say that days really pass smoothly and happily for me
I have missed a few pple though

And over the these period~
I have grown very fond of my Korean group!! ^^
I’m really slow in liking them
Since JM actually introduce them quite some time ago
I’ve really fallen in love with their ballads
And Ann you can’t make me stop liking him
Though, realistically I’ll get over him soon enough.. JJ~~!!

Words

2008-12-22T01:46:00.001+08:00

Words

OMC!! I finished Alice 19th
It was so spectacular
With so much meaning to the manga
Well you have the light and the dark
Fighting with each other
Choice of weapon: Words

Simply clever!
Love the story~
Our simple twit brains choose to forget,
Every now and then,
That words carry a certain power with them

How sad to finally finish it already
It was really so exciting!!

Oh thanks Nana for going out with me!!
Going in circles for presents
I saw Bryan at the CLEO stand!!!
So happy!!
It’s been a long time since I saw him!

HEHE!!
Note to Nana: “HERE HERE!!!”

I can’t be sure if it’s true
It seems to be
Whatever the reason
It’s quite upsetting.

Fetish

2008-12-21T02:07:00.002+08:00

Fetish

Ok, I’m going to let you in on a not-so-surprising fetish of mine
Well, it’s not very me to take effort to dress up
Unless the occasion calls for it
Or I decide to take the effort
Well~ I have this huge thing for winter clothes
The trench coats, thick fur hoodies and hot boots to melt the ice!!
(Not literally melt the ice la)
But the get the idea
I swear when boutiques get into winder season
To make up for the monotonous colour palette
You have the BOOTS AND THE FUR!!! (fake one, of course)

Tons of hoodies and coats to choose from!!
Sighs~ I swear I belong somewhere else

I’ve been eyeing Timberland’s boots!!
GAHHH!!!
It’s deemed unpractical to shop for clothes there
With Singapore’s weather and all
Ahhh!!! But so many nice stuff to appease my eyes
(swoons)
Andand Espirit hasn’t been easy on me also

TORTUROUS!!
I can only wish to strike the lottery
But it won’t make any sense
Especially if I refuse to “invest” any money
Good gracious~

Oh let see the 2 boots that I had my sights set on:

Asleep to his voice

2008-12-20T03:19:00.002+08:00

Asleep to his voice

It was pure imagination
Sheer power of my mind
That I actually heard Noctis speaking
In English (HAHA!!!!)

He started talking after I shut my eyes for a while,

Ready to sleep..
He was just talking and talking
What about, I forgot
I liked his voice
Not too deep
It’s quite a common sounding voice actually
Too bad I fell asleep after listening to it for a while
(sighs)
Not fair

Flu gone
But the cough lingers still

Note to self: All mentioned above happened on Friday, 19 Dec

Ohhh!!!!
IMPORTANT DATE:
19 Dec 2008
Around 3 in the afternoon
MY CRISIS CORE PACKAGE ARRIVED!!!!
Much to Meemee’s curiosity
As to what is actually in the box!!!
I’m leaving it as it is!!!!
Until Christmas!!! HO-HO-HO!!!!

Now I spend my hours
Reading all the manga that I can possible read online
“Bloody Kiss” was such a good read
I know...
The title like one kind
But! The story was sooooo my type!!!
VAMPY VAMPY~~!!! (^.^)v
Plus the artist was good!!
I appreciate good drawings!

Now I’m read Alice 19th
And listening to “Rising Sun”
DBSK (:
Oh the lyrics so artsy fartsy,
I LIKE!!!!
And you hear this screamo thing
Reminds me of Chester!! HA!!
Kk, ciao now brown cow~
(Just trying my rhyming thing..)

That warm hug

2008-12-18T22:57:00.003+08:00

That warm hug

Joy, joyful, joyous!!
I finally passed my FTT yesterday~!!
It was kinda funny since it was another last min attempt
While chatting with Zie and Nana,
I actually remembered I had a test
GAHHH!!!!
And the very same night
Azie actually went all out to source for help
Scan the book
Asked Weili for help~
Thanks Azie for everything!!
And to the kind Weili for the website
I stayed up to practice HWEEE!!!

AHHH!!!
But right after the test
I was treated to the flu bug
And all I can think of is Immunology
(I know right)
I was thinking of the lines of defences
And how the heck my body is going to fight the bug

After that I could think of
(while chatting with Nana)
Is Noctis coming to gimme a big nice warm hug
And then making chicken soup
To cure me of all ailments
I swear I will never be sick again
HWEEE~~

Ohh~ Edah called me today!!
In the morn!!
Just before she left the country~
Haha, gosh it's been a really long time
I wished her the best
Come back safely!!!!

Well, I really need to apologise to Nana
Since I was suppose to meet
But my fam had some furniture moved in
And Godpa treated us to lunch (:
I had beef LAK-SA-NIAAAA~~~
Hehe~ (irritates Meemee with my pronunciation)

And when we arrived at Godpa’s
I slept on the comfy sofa
Lack to sleep~

Well let’s hope that Nocty comes while I sleep
(nudge nudge Azie)
And gimme a nice warm hug
And then I can smile in my sleep

Andand I wanna watch “Angus’s Thongs”
LOL!!!!

Caelum Covers

2008-12-16T14:56:00.007+08:00

Caelum Covers

Ctrl + C, Ctrl + V:
Begin with C: Caelum, Cullen, Crisis Core, Chester and CHRISTMAS!!! HWEEE~!
Oh!!! I just realized Cloud fits in too!!! Heee~~
And not forgetting Cash, Condo and Cars
Bells told me that credit cards ain’t good
Cuz it’s a debt
Go for cash~ LOL!

I am super ecstatic!! (:
After sloth-ing for the weekends
And the whole of Monday
I’m thrilled to be going out with the girls
And even more thrilled to be anticipating next year!!
All that fills this little brain of mine
Are all thoughts of meeting Caelum

And Cloud
In their native country!!! GAHHHH!!!!
It’s a sign: Tv channels have been dropping hints
Every time I think about Japan
BOOM!!! An ad of jap product comes on!!!
I’m coming~ You beautiful one heck of a country YOU!!!!

Hush Hush Crush Rush

2008-12-15T04:40:00.007+08:00

Hush Hush Crush Rush

I guess I’ll have to slice and dice
It perpetually been a whole week
And praise the Lord
The holiday season is here!!!!
WOOOOO!!!!
Ok.
Let’s see.

I kept myself absorbed with Skip Beat
What an entertain manga, seriously!!
Sunday and Monday
Totally twisting and turning
To get comfortable reading from my com

Tuesday
Good riddance to that horrible faci!!
YUCKY-POO!!
Thankfully, I don’t have to bear with awkward phrases
And ever trying so too damn hard to blend in
OMG!! Please spare yourself.
And stop overreacting! CHEESE!!
Twilight, Twibright Trauma
Had to rush down to the Twilight gala premiere
How HWEEEEE!!!
Nana and I won some prizes for our video
And her mom came down to accompany us
She’s a cartoon as always~
Meemee joined us and sat at different places
):
I would say the movie was generally good
But being the bitchy-fied movie critic
I was thoroughly upset with the details
Well, can’t be helped especially after I read the book
Aishah knows I bitch alot about the movie
Hahaha! She would be thoroughly irritated, I know (smirks)

Wednesday
Prior this day, the group of Twilights
Had decided to wear the Tees
As living proof that we’re quite fans
And WE’VE WATCHED MOVIE!!!
End result:
As soon the class left
Cherine and the Twits
Took hold of the space and created some cheap fun
Well, we sparkled and took pictures in our glorious moments

Thursday
Early.
Cuz I spent the night finishing Skip Beat!
And reality of YOG set in
With queer moments
The game is on
But not something to trifled with.
SHEESH!
Sent my head into a spinning frenzy
No food, little water and no sleep~
ZZZZZZzzzzzzz
Immediately after class,
Fish noodle soup to warm my insides
Thanks Aishah for being my company~

Friday Feels like FREEDOM!!
AHHHHH!
Release!
Almost carefree
Nana, Azie and I head aimlessly
After we ate at banquet
Instilled excitement in our little chatters

So now I just finished up on another weekend
Outings with Ben Johnne on Sat
All the way to DG, Starbucks

While Nana was a recording!!!!!!!!!

Super jealous

But I had LP's studio in my head

And I'll keep at that~ (:

If I had a drunken look, it'll be that..

Met Johnne&Ben(again) and Yingying on Sunday

Place of recommendation:
Some Japanese food court in North Point’s new wing
RAHHHAHAHAHAHH!!!
The moment I stepped in~
I was so freaking enchanted la
Can you imagine being enchanted by a food court??!! =.=
Credits to overly active imagination
It was like food stalls in Japan!!! (smiles till eyes are gone)
KYYYAAAAA!!!!!
Blissful I tell you!!!
I shall meet you soon no matter what!!!!

Oh and on very very significant note:

14 Dec 08

4.09pm

I FREAKIN SUCCESSFULLY BID FOR MY PSP!!!!!!

OMCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hweee~ I just a cheaper bid just now..

But not much (To my relief and I can't possibly wait until it expires!)

OH HAPPY DAY~~~!!!

Amanda Alice De Souza

2008-12-12T17:57:00.000+08:00

Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

You are intelligent, outgoing & stylish. A true girly girl, you love shopping & makeovers.
Although you are a generous friend, you can be coy, tricky & very persuasive in order to
get your way. You are known to zone out occasionally during conversations, but your
friends forgive you because you are understanding, supportive & know how to throw one
heck of a party!

The Twilight Guy in Me

2008-12-12T17:53:00.005+08:00

Take the Quiz and Share Your Results!

You are intelligent, obeservant and good at managing a group of people. Although
you long for meaningful connections, you can be can be distant and sometimes lack
self control. You are careful though and the tough experiences you’ve been through
help you to work at living a better life.

Twilight, Twihard!

2008-12-07T05:10:00.003+08:00

Twilight, Twihard!

Within the past few days,
I have thoroughly enjoyed
Accomplishing small tasks
Of so little importance yet
Totally being satisfied everything

Wednesday.
Pulled the stops to my ride awaken self
And lay myself down to rest accidently
But a promise is a promise
So I escaped after my long rest
Gallivant before the friend actually arrived at my stop
I settled for toast, eggs and tea
If the story need to be concluded
We had a bloody blast!
Nana and I.
The Twilight phenomenon descended on our awareness
Started with toast, eggs and tea for me
Ended with toast, eggs and tea for her

Thursday.
“Mundane” coiled it
Can I say secretly here,
There it was also one of the most embarrassing days of my life
Utterly oozing discomposure of my very being
I myself know how every action
Made me more uncomfortable than the previous
Seeing that I had dropped my com that very day
Simply took the icing on the cake
My heart stood quite still
And shattered along with the screen

This made Friday began with utter shitful-ness
I denied myself the truth and swam in hope
Weili knew better than that and made me just lost temporary control
It had been a long time
Cuz I don’t do displays
But this one wasn’t in my hands
I was so sad even I couldn’t comprehend why
Unfortunately, I gave everyone quite a show
Which I would rather it be private

It made them probably worried
And Azie commented about my different self
Leaving her quite heartbroken too
I’m sorry girl
This wasn’t even a proper reason to upset over
And yet there I was shamelessly moping.

I knew better than to make people sad
So somewhere from the poluted air,

I drew comfort
And poof, back ol’me
The end gave me quite a bit of hope
After the com guy analyzed my lappy
With encouraging words from
The girls and FG.
(Thank you very much, I’m happy that you guys were there)
I shall look forward to the diagnose from HP
Bring it!

Oh nownow,
The main point of this post was dedicated to the title
Haha!
Since "today", 6Dec, was the soiree and book discussion
I had to dress literally to impress
I need to get my grabby little hands on some goodies (sly grins)
Meemee was least interested in my ramblings of my outfit
“Just go with what you want”
Not very helpful for inexperienced dresser
Spitefully, without any fashionable taste in my bones

Mama, endearingly fetched me to NLB
Fed me with Bak Ku Teh!
Before leaving me to fend for myself
“I’m going to die a self-conscious person”
,I thought.
Unfortunately, if I had multiple personalities
The crazy one came out to protect me
It actually brought new friends XD
Well done.
But you have seriously humiliated me
And I hope not everything goes onto film
Please please please!!!
I must be really blessed today
I did win a ticket to the premiere
And I kinda won best dress (squeals)
Effort paid off!!
Thank God I didn’t overdo it.

Nana’s family was really warm and embracing
I met them at Plaza Sing
Oh my GOSH!!
It was really fun
Despite the throbbing irritant in me head
CRAPPY~
Well, I got to know the members of Ridge
Whom I must have unknowingly cursed them with my wretched mouth
I quote myself:
I think your brother will at least win second
To which they did,
Heartbreakingly, after all those practices

And still placed second for many times in a row
Shall pray for the top for you guys
If I do pray that is.

Bolt kept us painfully awake
It stirred hysteria and riot with the bunch
With me trashing about in my own seat
Probably amplifying my laughter more than necessary
But I loved Rhino and the ever adorable Bolt
“DIE, DIE, DIE!!! Heheheheheeeeee~~~!!!”

How scary that I was able to easily chat with them
I must thank Nana’s family for being very accommodating
Her mom, I must say is a really great mother
Like mine, of course (:
THANKS NANA :D

Diving Daggers into Doubt

2008-12-03T00:30:00.002+08:00

Diving Daggers into Doubt

Hold that clock.
Cuz sleepless nights would turn one sloth-y
That Saturday was pretty slow and sleepy
Meemee enticed with English subtitles of Devdas
It’s difficult to peel away
But time does not wait.
Rish-rush.
How funny that thoughts would whisper
“Late, but they’ll be later”

Rahhrahh rahhh~
Aishah, Bels and Lulu' day out XD
I’m so lazy to make put every detail down.
Indo cuisine, Aishah’s play, pictures, and jamming
Run that by and fast forward to the roasted nann
Near Mustafa, called Usman.
Ahhhh, delightful (:

Run for Sun (day)
Ran late ran errands
Arrived at Plaza Sing late enough
To miss the girls
Did my own touring
To my utter delight
And pain (of not being able to afford)

Figurines, and the CRISIS CORE PSP console!!!
All worthy of my divine attention!!!
(spasms)
I saw Daggers and Swords
Katana and Axes
(frowns and sighs)
I really want
I would wishfully and fondly think
Of having my own house
And making all those pieces for decoration
Obviously, I wouldn’t want violent people in my house
(other than myself of course)
Wouldn’t want a crime scene in my home now

I’ll never stop to dream. (:

4 Christmasses with girls and guys
Head to Cathy with Nana for LP black cover
And then to Fish & Co.
How warming to sit at a table and share a meal
Celebrate Alvis’s birthday not-so-surprisingly
But don’t be dishearten cuz the intention was there..

Monday, boring and annoying
People left in melancholy solace
While I peek at a different side
Today plainly normal
Except for the fact we went to ate before UT..
And watch this literally mind boggling movie
It boggled my mind till it hurt
Disappointing really!!
All that enticed me was the adorable fireman
Oh, and the fact the Azie joined us of trips today!!
Coolness!

Heart beats and Circulating heat

2008-11-29T05:09:00.006+08:00

Heart beats and Circulating heat

Oh the pissy mood during biochem
I should be pissed too
But it shouldn’t have any significant affect on me
But the class seem to have this
“Tag-you’re-it” pissed and PMS-y day
Infectious really
It couldn’t really harm me anymore
Barely made a mark on my anger meter
But don’t you go annoy with your antics

Well hope sweet friend didn’t get too bothered
Hope it was all out after those tears (:
They help once in a while..
Especially in the art of catching cockroaches
Or one for that matter
Some stray little ugly bug managed to get into the bag of a friend’s
Boy did it set the whole class into a war zone

It’s Azie VS Chicken Shitters

If it was war

SHE WAS A VICIOUS WARFREAK!!!

Hurling the mummified creature around at people!!!!

(shivers)
I had to laugh after everything

Although I was ‘shittin in my pants’ when the fiasco started

Thankfully, the guys had displayed a hideous weakness

For the small thing

Despite the size diff

Piture Satty and a tiny cockroachy.

Made me habour a thought about smth random:

Those vulgar things even have vulgar names =.=

When everyone left
I waited for Bels and Lu

CS and then studies
Meemee had invited me for coffee
Hweee!
And then to Mustafa
HAHA!!!

Well today was the same
Weili Chan Mali Chan
Had lovely absurd ideas
He's the typical uncle-kinda complain king
AND!!! We are planning an attack on Monday regarding the RJ.
Ran wild in Marina today
Peganol had this very funny blushing incident
With a guy with nice platinum blond hair
Sleeping on the table (sighs)
Who by after much scrutiny
Actually turns out to be a girl
Gosh she has good taste for a youngling like herself
Good face to carrying it off
(pout, frown and grits teeth envy-ly)

Lots of scandal and random jokes
Oh, the post syndrome of laughter
Thanks girls, and the newly recruited boys
So much joy and fun!!

My heartbeats feel irregular
Strange
As if they skip beats for fun
It’s too much reading about Tsukiyomi Ikuto
I shouldn’t do it without cool air around me
Have they ceased to exist?
Or where they never at all?

LP: PROJECT ‘REVELATION’

2008-11-27T03:08:00.006+08:00

LP: PROJECT ‘REVELATION’

The inverted commas are there for a purpose
In case all the other crazy LP fans attack me for the wrong title of their new CD/DVD
Revelation on my part
On how the LP bug actually got to me
Crawled under my skin
And infected me with a disease

It all began when Meemee wanted to buy a few CDs
CDs were very popular then
Somehow we bought quite a few
I knew that LP was good
But I didn’t know how I knew
Both of had this misconception
That Linkin Park probably had music
That would be rated NC16 now
Filled with profanities, that is
Maybe we mixed them with Limp Bizkit

Boy was I soooo wrong
I got soo hooked on all of their songs
Not a normal thing
Considering artist love to trick you
By having one or two songs to rock to
And the rest will be just crap
LP was the SHIT!!!
DE SHIT!!!

Ever since,
A loyal and lovin’ fan was born,
Yours truly, of course

Big disappointment to be absent from their Padang performance
Heartbreaking really
Meemee was really afraid that I’d get trampled
Andand, the tickets would seem a bomb to me then
I couldn’t afford, not on my own that is.
“Just wished that I didn’t feel like there was something I miss..”

Butbut, never give up an opportunity twice
In the recent one~
(JUMPS AND SCREAMS)
RAHHHH!!!!!
Chester blew me away man!!!!
His vocals.. (melts)
Mike was so.. wa~
The band dammit was bloody good~!!!

So Nana actually made me stir again
LP soul was revived
WOOHHOOOO!!!!

Brutal Mike Shinoda wiping Chester Bennington!! (giggles)

Imagine: The person who caught the towel, labels towel:

LP Tour 200*, Towel with Chester's sweat wiped by Mike!! (Muahaha!!)

To do everything you want to do

2008-11-27T02:41:00.000+08:00

To do everything you want to do

4am in the morn and Meemee and I talked
She’s so funny
It’s so true:
The people who never frown eventually break down
And the fruit doesn’t fall too far from the tree
Meemee must be swelling with stress
Always caught up in between
It never ends does it?
(shakes with assurance)
Nope, it doesn’t~

Scramble to my feet
And rushed to town
It’s been some time Godmama and I had dinner
Coincidently, Nana and Shasha was there!!
At Funan, Kimage
I was actually HMV
When I told Nana I was at MPH
I was previewing Road to Revolution!!!
And the Twilight & Gossip Girl soundtracks

Godmama met me for J.Co
Doughnuts and drink
Window shopped for heels
I couldn’t resist trying a few pair
Insomnia for snacks
To which I couldn’t finish
Haha!
I must say I had too much to say
Bought mama congee
And talked about my LP obsession
Pray they’ll come back again.
Please
Please~

Whimsical Fancy: The last waltz with the soldier

2008-11-26T02:10:00.010+08:00

Whimsical Fancy: The last waltz with the soldier

A prince sits on his throne
He didn’t frown,
Yet just by watching him
One could tell that he was worried with kindness

There she watched
Her heart grieved
Yet she should understand
She loved his kingdom too
But her selfish affection
Was to great
The kingdom placed second
And him..
First.

She closed her eyes
Saw that when it was peaceful
The palace and all its splendours
Were adorned with beautiful lights
Families of nobility would gather
There would be an orchestra to string melodies
Food sculptured for the appetite
The prince would sit at the same throne
Warm with spirit

She opened her eyes again
Tracing the distance on the ground
Right up to his throne

Looking at the same prince
The setting now
So dark and haunted
Melancholy was the only one dancing in the halls now
He sat very still,
Eyes gently closed
As if he was taking a peaceful nap
He had his knuckles pressed against his cheek
It seemed as if he was pondering
Over a matter of little importance

She took in all these details
Despite the great distance
She was standing away from where he sat
Her lips curled at the sides
“How adorable”
She thought
She tingled with excitement
But held back by immense sadness

She heaved a breathe out
And it echoed in the walls of the castle
He heard it
Because he peeled himself away from his thoughts
To open his eyes
With so much refinement and perfection
He stood from his throne
As walked charmingly as a man could

Her blood boiled with flurry now
As his gaze fixed on the luminous pale face
He stopped with his face inches away hers
She could feel the colour seep into her cheeks
Her heart pounding so loud that it rang in her ears

She can’t look at him
Not when her body is still betraying her
He would melt her into goo if she continued looking at him
She decided the collar of his clothing would be sufficient
She divert her eyes with seeming too rude

Gingerly, he trailed her arms
Leading his palms to her hands
Pulled her closer and
Tenderly, he kissed her forehead
As painful it was for him
He hid it well as he was taught to

A tear rested on her lower lid
She was determined that it would not fall
She wanted to give him a lovely picture
For him to keep until he returned
He back away a little
Allowing room for a bow
And extending an inviting hand
An invitation for a waltz

“Shall we?”
He humbly requested
She nodded and pulled herself to him
“We’ll dance like before”
He whispered.

She rest her head on his shoulder
And they circled the floor with slow steps
Keeping to the beat of an imaginary song
One they both were so familiar with

“So, are you really going?”
She mumbled.
He giggled at the absurdity of the question
“Yes, ...”
He paused, contemplating on how she address her
“... Love”

After deciding that it was the only appropiate word that fitted her
She jerked up upon hearing the word
But decided to continue resting her head
“Why?”
She asked again, confused with hurt.
She needed another reminder.

“Because I’m the only royal blood left?
I have to protect the people I love.
I can’t abandon the country that raised me

I cannot give the invaders the power they seek..”

“Please don’t go,
Let the soldiers fight”

“I am a soldier..”
“I have to lead”

“No!” A whisper,
So rebellious and helpless.

She lost her prince but for now
She just wanted to remain like that
To waltz with her soldier forever..

Old cookies

2008-11-25T23:16:00.000+08:00

Old cookies

Nothing significant
Except I let Nana in on a little “complaint”
I was so entertained by LP once again
(: Since Gen class on Mon
Nana and I caught alot on LPTV
Hwee~

So after UT
Bought some ol’ cookies

Played around with 2 cookies.. (grins)
Walked to King’s

Bid our farewells to Adel, PLP and Reen
And chit chatted with YS and Nana
That is until I went scrambling to find the Fat Godzilla!!!
Muahahaha!! (nudges Nana)
I loved nice small gathering of fun
Nice chitter chatter really

So many secrets out from the dark
Nah.. Only little itty bitties~ Hehe!

Let go

2008-11-24T06:14:00.003+08:00

Let go

I’ve been meaning to write this
It stemmed from a conversation
With a friend
I’d say I know her a little more than superficially
Well she kind of made me think:

(really hard, at that)

How hard is it exactly to let go?
Too damn hard I could say
Or could imagine
I can barely rid myself of bad habits
What more an actual breathing being

When you have reached a point
Where all their idiosyncrasies are made known
Instead of loving or adoring them
You start to find it annoying

Would you say a person that loves you,
Would want to be at least liked by the people around you?
It would be appeasing, to least try, right?

When it’s been so long
Is it more difficult?
Because you’re dependable on the other half

Or because you’re so used to the fact
That you breezed days that it became years?
I don’t even know for myself why.

Would you rather pain

Let it swell like a tumour

For it to crush your organs

Before you finally see yourself crumbling

It breaks your heart
And you know it doesn’t feel right
Why do we grasped on the edge of the cliff
When we can fall freely into the ocean beneath

Well, the ocean brings too many uncertainties
You might die
It’s been too comfortable on top of that cliff, really

That when left hanging,

All we really wanna do is hang, really..

I’ll step on your fingers

Let you dive into the deep blue
Because I know you deserve something better
Out there where someone would be able to love you better
Then again, the wait might be tough
Thoughts quaver because they’re not the same
I don’t know how I’ll manage
If placed in your shoes
But be brave (haha, another abbreviation of BBB!!)

I’ll have trouble stepping into that turf

Someone told me it will never be the same again.

I know

I don't want to alter to falter
I have awkward-ity as my ammunition
Take another step beyond that boundary
And I’ll exterminate you like a fly (smirks)

Whimsical Fancy:
Amandum quae
My thoughts would wander
If a certain being would
Build that barrier for me
One powered by telekinesis
Constructed by circling swords, lances and spears

He would be the one to protect.

Rummage

2008-11-24T05:51:00.001+08:00

Rummage

Cheese, it’s scary
To still be awake
But also wretchedly tired
I’ve been sorting out my files
Looking through past pictures

Gosh, it’s like an emotional trip
How fast has it been when you look back?
How slow can it be when you look forward?
Like the wind, fleeting as it pleases

I reckon that she’s doing fine
Even if it mean waddling through awkward moments
And having thoughts all in a heap of flurry
How enviable though,
To be able to put those thoughts into nicely constructed sentences
I would think them and forget to pen it exactly the way I thought them

I’ve been losing touch with my thoughts
Cuz I’ve been obsessing over what I’ve doing day by day
Afraid that somehow I’d forget the days
What I did, Where I was..

I’ve been ungrateful
Spitting at the face of time
Neglecting all its gifts
But I wouldn’t want to forget now, would I?
All the moments
All the seconds
I could at least throw my laughter carelessly
Or at least said that I enjoy it thoroughly

I would want to take things for granted
I have a big problem
Well, I have a best friend name Procrastination
And a demon of sloth
It’s been so suffocating
Infuriating to my own being
Damn you.
I need to let you go

I shall sleep,
Mane tempu expergiscendi

Please don’t forget me then
Just please don’t...

If I had a really cool ride..

2008-11-24T01:03:00.003+08:00

If I had a really cool ride..

Free to feast

2008-11-23T13:54:00.000+08:00

Free to feast

Missed out on Siapa Baba on Fri
Cuz the girls had other plans
Like plans to try Soup Spoon
We found the small one in town
And went to Raffles

From there we met 2 of our very friends
They were situated quite near from SS
Meet Ben and Jerry
XD
Thank you girls (and guy)
For the small fun over food~

Rise late on Saturday
And met the masquerade people @Bugis
Moved around Arab to which a few items caught my eye
(people’s eyebrow)
I couldn’t stay long
And how frustrating
To not be able to find a dress

Well thank God
It was simple
And I chose to go as I was
Boy did I have fun during Bingo
(giggles)

Need to clean up seriously..
But I decided to watch The Mummy
And talk to Nana
Pray that LP comes back
As uncles
And us, adults
They’ll be old school
But we’ll still be their crazy ass fans...

Interesting abbreviation: BBB
Which actually is: Blood Brain Barrier

Alternatives:
Bloody Big Boobs
Bloody Big Butt
Bloody Brainless Boys
I could think of more but..Yea..

Naughty Nocty

2008-11-21T03:59:00.001+08:00

Naughty Nocty

I’ve opted for a darker background
Since I hopped on to a blog
Of someone having the exact same background
Urgh!!
If you can’t be totally unique on this one
Mainstream the colour
And then fancy-fy it MY WAY!!
Then again, not very easy!!
I’ve been playing around with where
Nocty should actually be
Heehee
I giggle like a fool
Everytime I look at him

I shall write a post of “Whimsical Fancy” soon
One with him in it of course

Back to the skin
GRRR!!
I should be all about colours!!
LIKE BOLD as the previous
Ahh nvm.
I’ll figure it soon.
I'll edit as time permits
Until I get the right one!!
Bet Ann’s gonna lash at my blog skin
She’ll definitely have plenty of "nice" things to say
(pouts)

Tucking in..
Good night sweet Noctis
What a beautiful night you are~

Dream Situation: Unfamiliarly Familiar

2008-11-20T23:46:00.003+08:00

Dream Situation: Unfamiliarly Familiar

Closed my eyes
And blinked them open
I peer out the window
Of the bus I was sitting in
I was sure the woman driver had lost her marbles
Did she think she was driving a convertible?
The speed down the slope
Felt like a roller coaster ride
I stood up
Feeling like I’m trying to defy gravity
And here I am wondering
Why is everyone else so poised?
We were going to hit the van in front!!!
She swirled the bus round the bend
Trying to avoid the van

It lost control and railed off the road
“Are you crazy??!!”
I screamed
It just didn’t register to her
She continued with her mad road ethics

Did we crash?
Because all was a blur
And all I only remember being in this dark room
It was frightening
The small windows
Allowed rays of light
Illuminating small areas of the room
Something under a ray caught my eye
I needed to check it out
But I was afraid
I had to cross areas of pitch black
I contemplated
There was light..
I should be safe

I ran with my heart pounding
And rolled the white matter around
No, no what I had thought
Relief, I guess?
I made a fast sprint to back to the door

Then he charged in
Grasp my wrist
And pulled me with him
A few flights up the stairs
He decided to let go
Leaving me to chase after him
What was this seriously?
Did he want me to follow?
I decided to run back down
For what reason I do not know

I guess he realised
And he charged back
To prevent me from going back down

He pulled me into a tight embrace
At that,
I started visioning other men with scary faces
Strangely familiar Chinese people
I breathe before finally looking his face
Drenched with worry
He was Chinese
With beautiful eyes
Piercing into mine
Shawn Yue?
I laughed in my thoughts
He was much younger looking though
At this, I realised my arms were hurting
He was holding me really tightly
And then shaking me
Likw he was trying to convey a message to me
But I couldn’t hear anything

...
...
...

I shocked myself to wake
Wait..
To wake??

Rush Crush

2008-11-19T23:16:00.000+08:00

Rush Crush

Sunday was reserved for special few
As late as I arrived
I still enjoyed time with the girls
They showed off their new hair
Copycats!! Seriously!!
Haha! I joke.
Awful food @LJS
Rahhh!!
I won a bet made with Ying
Muahaha!!
Thanks for the free bubble tea!!!
WITH PEARLS!!!
Nana was seriously disturbing me
By asking me to suck a few stray pearls in her drink
And she was being obscene about it here~~
Azie was saying:
“Be thankful she’s asking you to suck the pearls
And not anything else”
Ok, I take the hint. =.=

Genetics on Monday
Seriously shitty
The woman gets on my nerves like..
A leech!!!
GRRRR!!!
How a mere being like her
Cause so much distress!!!
Whatever~
You’ll be gone soon!!

Break on Tuesday
That’s not to say I got totally scot free
Not without UT
And a magic show to go to.

My faci was being a twit today.
I have nothing much to say about it
Except that she kinda loves shooting herself in the foot
Nana brought a friend Sha!!
Hi there and nice to have met you (:
They looked like carbon copies, hehe~

The fact that tomorrow I actually have a performance
Is starting to freak me out..
I’m easily freak-a-ble..

No thoughts anymore.
Just actions.

Artistic Tapestry

2008-11-17T23:12:00.002+08:00

Artistic Tapestry

“If you want to win
Always listen to your heart
And if your heart
Doesn’t give you any anwers
Close your eyes and think of your parents
And you will cross all the hurdles..
All your problems will vanish
Victory will be yours”

Mundane morning
Stays still in the afternoon
But things can get crazy
As time ticks away
Makeup, steps, family, friends
I pray I won’t screw a good show up

Prep talks before the show

Got me really feeling emotional

Especially the special dedication to a late parent

How bittersweet..

This needs to be kept in my prayers..

When the curtains parted
Screams emerged from the dense of black
Kinda stadium roar
How adrenaline pumping
It knotted my insides
“Come on, come on, breathe..”

Fast forward jumps back stage

Anticipating&wainting..
Curtain call done
Next thing I knew,
I was screaming at my fam and friends
Thanks for the pictures NANA!!!
Thanks for the yellow rose EDAH!!
AND EVERYBODY THANKS FOR COMING DOWN TO SUPPOT!! XD

(fam, azie, satty, z, abby & iggy!!)

I need to thank Farah for all the effort to help me

Reminding and callin me

Ain, for helping me with my costume~

Kin for drilling the steps into my head.

And the wonderful people (MCG) that I've met in this course for Reflections

Thanks In for the lift to school~

(unglam entrance.. falling out of the truck)

Dine with my fam @some prata place
Dunk my nasi briyani!!
Chat with Meemee till I fell asleep on her bed.

Endorphins depletion

2008-11-15T02:00:00.001+08:00

Endorphins depletion

Hold that thought
Thank you for the distraction
Needed that Need for Speed
And DJ sessions

Guilt could sink it
Both ways actually
But I can’t say “No”
Meemee was right about me
Although I’d rather she’s wrong

Hossan was really endearing
And definitely hilarious!!
Urgh! But it reduces to nothing after that
No sense of joy

I wish you hadn’t brought that up
But history is history
Served its purpose

I’d kick the shit out that jerk though..
(giggles)

The mad hatter goes mad.

2008-11-13T23:30:00.001+08:00

The mad hatter goes mad.

He had a happy journey there
Nice breakfast on a tray
But never had he known it would be this unpleasant
Despondent and weary
Along with him a tinge of anger

Could you blame him?
If he found a certain being, utterly irritable
Constantly diverting his attention to the constant ramblings
“Yak-yak-Yakety-yak” whines the anonymous being

When a certain guest made its presence known
Being decides to alert the mad hatter on receiving a gift
The mad hatter got a certain “reward”
One at which he wasn’t quite pleased with
Did he not pour the tea well?
He couldn’t comprehend the gift that the experimental guest had brought
He went about his mad ways
This time mad with anger
Could the being not eavesdrop?
No, for the being needs some recognition
Always needing to be heard

So the mad hatter’s tea party was conflicting
Could they not be content with teas and cakes
Keep things the way they are?!
NO!! Of course not.
They can’t compromise
Or actually have difficulty doing so

The mad hatter had stayed up to prepare for the party really
Heavy with weary he waited for the guests
Watched their acts
When the party had started
The mad hatter allowed himself another mad chance
To be mad, this time with gay

When all was over
The mad hatter, with a teacup in hand
Sat down and poured tea from a pot with the other hand
Set the pot down
And threw sugar cubes and vigorously stirred the tea
He set the tea on the table
And slumped himself forward
Smashing his teacup with his head
And soiling the table cloth with his ingenious action

All in a day of being the mad hatter.

Alter and falter

2008-11-11T11:51:00.000+08:00

Alter and falter

The only thing worse than making up
Is waking up
Early for school that is
Weekends been nice and easy
Spending Friday night and the whole of Sat @Godma’s
But Sunday definitely takes the icing on the cake!
After hairdressing at Ken’s
I decide to venture around Singapore on my own
Needless to say I got very lost
And when I arrived at the place it wasn’t even half done

And to shock the soul out of me
I saw a few old ladies falling down the escalator
They were screaming and tumbling down
It wasn’t a pretty sight
Unfortunately, it got me so dumbfounded
I stood there and watched
It wasn’t as if I was near the scene but the least I could do was..
TO DO SOMETHING!!!

I was left shaken
But relief that help came to them
Mean Iggy was laughing when I told him about it
IDIOT!!!
Bus-ed to Vivo
Did some shoppin –rahhrahh-haha!!!
When I got home
The episode of Sunday didn’t end there
I still had to get Rex
Put waxing&cards into picture
And you’ll equate to Myron, Clov and Sel

It’s been 2 days
Stringed with UT and Reflection
Someone help
Yest crazy but outrageously fun walking home
Today, taking the small yellow pill,
For my insane noise,
Before silat..
Had dire consequences
I forgot to feed =.=

Did I mention about the Identical Idiots??
If you don’t care about me, then please
Save your inconsequential input
Don’t dish your dirt on me ok!!
These few careless lines can infuriate

World’s spinning
Like my head
It’s ok, this is good..

Focus in F.R.A.M.E.D

2008-11-07T23:48:00.001+08:00

Focus in F.R.A.M.E.D

Thursday had “F.R.A.M.E.D” marked on it
And biochem had accomplished written all over it
It was worrying to know that Zie was upset
But she was fine eventually
Much to my relieve of course

After school
Five of the girls
Split into two teams
Nana and I on Zie’s team
While Sharon was on Ying team
What’s with the team?
It just simple
We went to their houses
Utterly redundant information to anyone who gives a cent
Ha!
Butbut! It was nice playing with the resident hammy!!
Travelling all the way to CCK~
And got a Pie Kia for a freakin’ dollar
COW!!

We all squeezed into the train back to Causeway Point
I must have been a starving hound
Cuz the amount of food that I have consumed
Must have amounted to the size of WHALE!!

Let’s just say when I reached the Blackbox
I must have an abundant of glycogen in jaw muscles
And alot in the voice box too.
I was shitty-ly noisy in the dead silent room
Why did I cultivate such noise maker of myself?
Not much of a friend of silence, maybe?
Put me in a quiet moment
And I’ll prolly start musing
Relatively, making as much reasonable noise to my deranged being as possible

I could have never been so pissed when I reached
I have myself to blame but urgh~!!!
I woke so early to be late AGAIN!!
Just because I had poor decision making skill
NBTT!!!
My face was literally sweeping the floow dammit!!
Sweet Sharon was concerned (: Thanks girl!!

Today’s lesson made more sense than previous ones
It could have been so much better if the facilitor
Would know how to facilitate!!
Grrrr.

Interesting preview today really
Zaini was really professional
I was so in awe when he actually gave us feedback
Omg!!
He could slapped me left and right with good humour man
And wipe dexterity all over my face like a dirty cloth
I would still be smiling with apprehension like a bloody fool
Gosh, if only I was made of the same calibre
I could actually..
Ahhh, don’t wanna go there..

So, since our performance was quite unsatisfactory
Tomorrow spells R-E-H-E-R-S-A-L
KannaSAI!!!
Oh well, if I seek to improve
That I shall do!!!

Heavy duty ultimatium was all dubbed in Malay
Wishing I left with Farah cuz I didn't understand nuts

Note to Edah & Z: Hello there~ It’s been a long time, no? Well, 2 reasons why I haven’t been finding time (even if it is a fraction of a minute to do) to like chat online or text, is that my attention span has now greatly decrease due to the approaching onset of a performance. The other well, it is due to you guys being heavily duty-ed to train for approaching competitions!! That isn’t to say that I won’t say a nice “Hello, how you doing so far?” anytime soon. I miss you girls, and the rest back at the centre. I will look forward any possible meetin that we might have~ Till then~ Toodles Noodles!!!

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none

2008-11-06T01:50:00.001+08:00

Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none
-William Shakespeare-

I’ve come to a realisation that I’ve become sloppy
The sweat has starting to wear the makeup off
But I have always been protective
The cost doesn’t matter anymore
But I shall abide but this line
Or at least try to
Sometimes it’s difficult
Especially when shit gets thrown in your way
It’s gets tiring
But I need to stop flaunting my weakness.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

2008-11-05T23:43:00.004+08:00

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

All I wanna ever do now is sleep

The days of insomnia prolly took its tow
Sunday night
Jm takes me for pizza
Followed by a nice topping of Swensen’s hot pan dessert (:

Monday was bright and sunshiny~
Awoke early to see Meemee pealing potatoes
I cooked myself a shitty breakfast
I burnt my toast
Half boiled eggs gone wrong
But it didn’t ruin my day!!
Cuz Genetics was fun~
I got to scream out my disgust of the Twilight movie
@Bella&Lus
Not to mention that I had training
Followed by a chalet all the way at Changi!!
SmellyMelly fetched me there
I was pretty “angsty” in the car
Poor Mel was “afraid”
It was fun
Munching away in an isolated area with my fam
Sipping down tons of Coke with AuntyJeanette
Not to mention all of them had leave the next day
Godmama and I were on the same group~

Tuesday brought insanity
With little sleep
I managed to get to school
And in the middle of it
Realised that I had FTT
(bangs head against the wall)
Escaped school to Popular
And did some cheap studyin
Went for the test..
AND FAILED!!!! (sobs.. and I was sooo confident~~)
I ought to kick myself in the ass!!

I’m not going to be deterred, dammit!!
Rushed back to school
To see Kiren who now has a girlfriend
Whose bestfriend is Nara’s bro!!
GOSH!! Small world seriously
Took em to Beats
And then went for training.
RAHHH!!!

Training and more training.
(snores)

Eventful Escapades

2008-11-01T23:01:00.000+08:00

Eventful Escapades

Warning: Very lengthy!!

If you think I was gonna waste Friday
Then you are sadly mistaken
Ohh.
Well not Friday then
The dawn of Saturday would be more appropriate
I had this urge to bring Rex out
So I did
And I rope in Myron
Who pulled Selon and Clovie along too
So both the boys said we’d go pump air into the tires
Unfortunately, my bike was different (like the owner)
So they managed to actually.. Miracle-ly
DEFLATE MY DAMN TIRES!!
Cheese~ And we spent alot of time sittin there like idiots
Figuring how to pump the air

We gave up eventually
After some nice taxi drivers helped
We settled at Clov’s
And played card games
(to determine who would pay for cab’s fare)
TO MUSTAFA!!!
It was all too fun
Without any crowd too!! (:
We breakfasted at some prata place
And cabbed home

Without sleep
I went to school to train
The stern guidance of Kin
Who probably think
I must be the worst human ever to teach..
I worked on my steps
And he made me jump on chairs too
How funny and scary
I think I hurt my knee area after that
Cuz it’s still hurting today

If I couldn’t torture myself anymore
I head home
Wait for JM for dinner
I looked like shit
But can’t give damn anymore
Met Meemee
And rushed to DblO
Turned me off seriously
Here is a scene which reminded me
Of the Hello Kitty phenomenon
Except the people were all lookin like..
Un-people-ish.
I just stepped out of the cab
And I see women’s boobs spillin on the streets already
And my Godmother (later on) asked me why hadn’t I
Helped them to push it back in for them =.=

So I was not in the mood to go in at all
I chilled at Tivoli instead
Ordered some drinks
Thank goodness the place
Was under the tutelage of a nice bartender
So drunk asses wouldn’t be a bother
Von was there to join me afterwards
Sherley Temple and a frozen Peach Daiquiri

We walked
All the way the Clark Quay
Saw someone
Some I preferred not to see
And I also saw Ally
In a bunny costume (laughs)
How very adorable~!!

And as if there wasn’t enough was going on
We saw policemen walk pass
As Von and I were breathin all the things going on around us
A fight had to break out behind us
Well, the timing of the cops was seriously great!!
Cuz it looked like it could have gotten worst
And then
Von was talking about a certain Chris Brown look alike
Next thing we knew
Some Chris guy tried and pick us up
Gosh..
I had no idea how to react
But Von sure know how to handle it smoothly
Thank God for her!!
She was quite smitten by the friend actually
Marco he is, the Chris Brown look-a-like
(shrugs)
I couldn’t stop laughin at the whole situation
They went away to party after walkin with us
Leavin us to find our way to Insomnia

Well
Thanks to me
Forgettin the Nike marathon route,
I got the both of us lost
Well, we had the worst direction skills
But we had a great workout

Poor Godma had to wait for us
She even sat us down
Watch us drank and ate like starving dogs
Nachos with Chilli con Carne!!
Mushrooms with garlic!!
Yes, I become vicious with my food.. (grins)(whips out shiny utensils)
Meemee was there
And we all had hearty talks and photo takin
Before leavin in the early morn
Like 7 in morn.

I must say my fam is BLOODY HIP & COOL!!

Ponder and wonder

2008-10-30T01:58:00.003+08:00

Ponder and wonder

Urgh I have outdone myself again
By making myself officially the most bored and boring person
On this bloody planet
Time ticks away as if it is catching something faster
Don’t pull me along please..
Could someone hand me the manual?
‘Things you HAVE to do TODAY, AMANDA ELIZABETH FRANCESCA GABRIELLE DE SOUZA!!’
Includes a full structured timing of all things to do that would thrill me
And keep me from being the most, almost, miserable person
Ever known to anyone who gives a shit.
Shit, how pathetic~

I have been too sheltered
And I wanna live dangerously
But not stupidly dangerous of course
Cheese now I sound like I want a role in a James Bond movie
Cliché and cheesy~

(pulls hair)
Isn’t it about time God throw in some excitement in my life?
No. Probably not.

Talking to you makes me insecure
I feel the need to condescend.
When I should be overly oozin with the abundance of....
Of...

Well..
Not feeling the need to be condescending!!
If that makes any shit sense..

RAHHH!!! I hate boredom!!!
Someone snatch me away now!!!

Can I tell myself that I don't like you anymore

Till my lie would sound convincin

And that I would gradually believe it?

Yes, I think I could..

My name in lights at Carnegie Hall

2008-10-30T01:23:00.000+08:00

My name in lights at Carnegie Hall

Personal stylist, agent and a publicist
I want it, want it, Want it
The fame and the fortune... and more
I gotta have my star on the door

I want the world nothing less, all the glam and the press
Only giving me the best reviews

Don't you see that bigger is better
And better is bigger
A little bit is never enough~

I WANT IT ALL!

Paris!
London!
Rome!
Toronto!
LA!
Sydney!
Buenos Aires!
Tokyo!
Moscow!
Bollywood!
Hollywood!
NEW YORK CITY!

I Want It All! I want it, want it, want it! (I WANT IT ALLL)

In the middle

2008-10-29T03:18:00.002+08:00

In the middle

How strange that I’m letting you get to me
I being courteous here
I’m wasting my time just by writing this
But I need this
To serve as a reminder
That people like you
Just preserve your own interest
I’m not saying that you’re a bad person
But how undeserving of me
Of those not even involved
Truly unfair
Then again what is fair
I tried
But I gave up seeing how bias you were
It irks me how this could actually from
The very likes of you.
I thought more of you honestly..

Shrugs. Moving on~

Hee! Meemee was so funny
Since I didn’t see her at home
At the time when she would usually be sleepin
I was quite worried
Was her friends keepin her?
But it would crazy; but not impossible
HA! She had history papers!!
She fairly disappointed but adorable
When I heard her over the phone
She told me during at dawn
She probably going through the same things
Except that hers is always on a much bigger scale
And... that she’s always caught in the middle
I swear she’s made of tough material
I wouldnt’ survive the same shit
I’m just too.. Hopeless.

Kin’s leg is made of steel
Instead hurtin the opponent
I hurt myself
Now.. what kinda self defence does that..
Doesn’t self defence mean defendin oneself (raises eyebrows)

Paramour (an illicit lover)

2008-10-28T04:10:00.005+08:00

Paramour (an illicit lover)

The truth is hiding in your eyes
And its hanging on your tongue
Just boiling in my blood
But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you’re a man at all
Well I will figure this one out on my own
I'm screaming, "I love you so."
My thoughts you can't decode

Do you see what we’ve done?
We've gone made such fools of ourselves

I swear if I put myself in his world again
I swear I would drown in it
True. If any creature could love forever
It would be Edward Cullen; a vampire that is
So how can you compare your love
With one that could possibly
Harbour centuries of frustration
Centuries of preservation
All given to YOU!!
Like..
HERE!! TAKE IT!!!
THE WHOLE CHUNK WORTH CENTURIES IS FOR YOU!!
What could you possibly give of equal proportion to that

Could a boy be like that?
Almost not tainted with imperfection
When he falls in love with you
He couldn’t possibly divert his attention away from you
Even though a creature of more worthiness of his attention is present
He protects you
Might even go to the extent of protecting you from himself
Since he’s the closest possibly treat to you

It irks him with jealousy
When he sees another boy attempting to be close to you
Laughs at all your idiosyncrasies
Guesses what’s on your mind
Since it bothers him that yours is the only that he can’t read
Composes a lullaby after you
Since he’s quite the natural with the piano
Has a beautiful family
Just like him
That plays baseball when the skies are cloudy

Insists that you’ll need to get used to being treated like a lady
Yada yada yada
Another one
Brewed for perfection
Which girl wouldn’t want Edward Cullen to fall in love with them?
Pray that he can’t their minds too, of course
And have him stalk them while they sleep
How dreamy
But his type don’t exactly come around at all
As much I love to fantasize on how a man of this magnitude
Will be single and available to a girl he would give his life to
He will be nothing but a figment of my imagination

Perfection is something we spewed from our imperfect little worlds
Too big a shoe for anyone to fill
Reality is so much crueller than the worst of these fairy tales.
SHEESH!
One can only continue to dream...

Caelum and Cullen
Iny miny miny mo

There is something
I see in you
It might kill me
I want it to be true

Get together for a get away

2008-10-28T04:06:00.002+08:00

Get together for a get away

I can’t the likes of happy and lovey dovey HSM3
But I’ll make room for Sharpay and Ryan
They evilness and drama mamas!!
I like.
After sitting through it
I complain about it like there was no tomorrow
Edah was right
I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE DIRECTOR!!
I would fire the over rated people!!
And make it realistic
And show kids how this world really is!!
MUAHAHAHAHAAA!!!
Ok, enough of the hysterics
I’m just scheming to be plainly evil (shrugs)
Thanks for the day out girl!!!
Seriously..
I know that you’re tired
And you went out of your way to make time for my poor soul
Sloth-ish more and more everyday
Thank for everything!!

Contentment

2008-10-25T23:24:00.000+08:00

Contentment

If Thursday was right
Having to practice for Reflections
Having to rush down to Jem’s to cook with the twins
Having to dish itty bitty dirt

Then Friday was excellent
Scrap the part of me being very pissed with glasses boy
And how he likes to kiss the faci’s toes
URGH!!!
I just wanna smash that shit laptop of his
Stop tryin to act like a shithead
Cut the crap alright!!

That aside
I felt happier to be bitchy
Along with Aishah
And actually mistaking PLP for Hanali
I actually sprayed the lao da after killing her..
(thinkin that she was Nana of course)
After learnin of her identity,
I could nearly shit in my pants..
For offending the pro of CS
My palms got sweaty thereafter
HAHA!!

So I skipped my FCUK fashion show
To play badminton with the girls
I might add that my left hand was really good
Haha. Original lefty~ turned righty =.=
But I still have slow reflexes.
Cheese pie~!!
Nevertheless
PLP and I lost really badly to Nana & Azie
GOSH!!

I squandered on food @Swensen’s
Chit chat with all the girls
Peigen, YuanShan, Azie, Ying & Nana
And not forgetting the 2 boys
You people are a pandemonium
And I LOVE THAT!!

Haha! Edah came safely back today!!
Well done on bringin the medal back
Don’t be too hard on yourself!!
You brought something back
And I’m really happy for you girl!!

Why can’t you trust me...

Aishah:
Girl, if there are things botherin you, and you need an outlet.. Lemme know alright.. You handle all these pressure so well. But at some point we just need to let it go. If you are willin to, share some of your burdens with me, cuz I’ll be more than happy to.

Random comment: In Friendster, For HaNANAli

2008-10-23T00:47:00.001+08:00

Random comment: In Friendster, For HaNANAli

AMANDA
Posted

10/23/2008 12:46 am
OMG! Did I reply like super late.. I can see that you are superduperhuper bored! So am I. You just like went to sleep after watchin your heroes and I am still busy like.. Watchin a certain character that is not even a proper human being but a fragment of fictionous reality. Nevertheless, perfect and gorgeous. Gosh, why do we, inperfect human beings, create such perfect beings.. Because we lack that perfection?? (rahh, I think too much)In case you are like really lost..I'm talkin about Noctis. XD The boy that stares at me in class whenever I return to my desktop.. RAHHH!! (wishfully sighs)

NOCTIS IS ...(sighs...) I WANT!!! HANANA!!! GIMME HIM!! For birthday present!!

Mean girl

2008-10-22T23:35:00.009+08:00

Mean girl

Let me account to you
Of a time when I was quite little
At the time when Snow White was showing
On tape I might add..
I hated Snow White
And wished that she would stay dead
And just let the evil witch be victorious
I even wondered how the prince could remove the poison
And not get poisoned himself
Ridiculous, I thought
Morbid, right?
Yes, I thus conclude that I was quite evil since young

I’m excessively turning obnoxious
And I need to be nice.

I joke..
Having an act of having an angsty attitude
Might not be funny but people’s reaction might be (shrugs)
Queer sense of humour
I ran out of ideas to be funny or smth heh?
Cuz sometimes I feel like I don’t care
But just maybe I do
And then I get reminded of how a similar joke
Was on me..
Felt like shit

But I’m not the same, I make it obvious
(that I’m jokin)
Rahhh, I shouldn’t have said I don’t care...
But I don’t!! (quite)
How shitful~~
Now it’s under my skin
Bottom line, I need to be nice..
Mother Chucker, just be nice alright!!!

So I have been coming up with names for Nana.
And Sha..
Irritating the shit out of them today
Haha!!
But they returned the favoured during lesson

By singing in whispery voices
When my concentration was ON!!
SHEESH!!

Vonny came down to see me
She sweet~
But I didn’t chat with her much

Sorry Bon Bon..

I actually inspired the girls to munch @Toastbox
Since I brought this cup of tea from Toastbox today
Nana, Sha & Ying (:

They tried to teach me to play nice

"Smile" they said.

(cheekyly smiles)

"NOT LIKE THAT!!"

-failed-

(urgh.. I'm hopeless)

So I tried my 'nice' persona (evilly smirk)
To the best of my abilities
And boy was it a riot!!
Was so glad to dine with em’
Thanks girls~ really meant alot to me
Simple meal with you girls after sch.

Andand I had a bonding session/outing
With FAN (newly acquired name for us)
Hahah! Boy, did I get sick from the motion of the bus
Not to mention that I watching this really ‘shaky’ video of the fights
Jalan Jalan around Bugis
And toyed around with masks @Accessorize
We chilled on coffee and donuts
(grins)
So totally happy..
I’m not wastin away..

Don’t let this get you down alright..
I won’t know exactly how you’re feelin
But I might have a clue on how it’s like

It's over and done
Look forward to the next round, ok?

Noctis~
I believe that the like of you actually exist on this planet
Oh why don’t you introduce yourself to me?
Just crawl out my screen won’t you..
Let's meet in our dreams

A scattered dream

Is like a far-off memory

A far-off memory

Is like a scattered dream

I wanna line the pieces up -

Yours and Mine.

Picking Up The Pace

2008-10-22T01:09:00.001+08:00

Picking Up The Pace

I feel like I’m starting to run already
Past 2 days after the games in class
I trained for Reflections
Happy that I occupying my time
Distracts me from my thoughts
I over-think
All the freaking time
Let me rest my thoughts
And move my body
Let me scream my lungs like I don’t care

I pray that you’re fine

Can't kiss beyond the glass

2008-10-20T02:48:00.002+08:00

Can't kiss beyond the glass

There’s this boy
Noctis, the night sky..
Can I be Stella, your fiery star? (sighs)
(giggles)

As real as the images in the mirror:
SQUALLs below the CLOUDs in the NOCTIS sky.
Can I be a part of your world..

Strangeness in frigidness

2008-10-19T23:44:00.002+08:00

Strangeness in frigidness

Funny how close we would feel
When we’re aren’t familiar with each other at all
And strange how distant we would feel
When we already acquainted with each other

Nana and I honoured town with our presence
If they don’t want her to be a bloody leader
To hell with it
Diss that meetin then
We shall just roam around
And after asking her for the time
That she would arrive in town..
After taking her time
She dared to be later than the tardy queen
Aimlessly walking around town
‘Fascinating’ scents
Amusing coffee machine
After the first sip, we both laugh retard-ly for no reason
Found some ingenious note pads!! RAHHH I want I want~
THANK VERY MUCH NANA!!
For the day and for pullin me away from the shops XD

ANN HUANG~!!
Ok, although it wasn’t noticeable in my voice
But I was bloody ecstatic to receive your call
And listen to your ‘kill-me-now-cuz-...-I-have-no-idea-why-also’ voice
I really am really really really happy to hear from you!!!
CALL ME AGAIN!!! (ONLINE ONLINE!!)
You always appear offline!!! SHEESH
What is wrong with you!!!
And now that you have made me actually think about my eyebrows
I’m thinkin about it since Browhouse has discounts.. RAHHHH!!!
Why?? I’m perfectly happy with my eyebrows
Because of the fact that they are significantly insignificant!!!
My mom’s afraid though but you know I love to experiment!
I MISS YOU OK!! Seriously, sometimes too many pple say that to you
Till it loses its meaning..

But seriously, I have no other choice of words
I can’t find other fanciful words in my vocab to describe this plain and simple feeling
That I have of your absence.
Maybe absence is good sometimes eh?
We won’t get bored of each other~
(sighs) But yea, sometimes I just wanna sit in Thai Ex
Have 2 bowls of Tom Yam Noodle Soup
And fill you in on all they shit I could possibly go though
Note: Possibly
Cheer up ooook??!!

If I have to awake in a frenzy mood on a day
It would be today
I was fussin’ over Myron’s arrival today
And his dearest bestfriend of all time
Was calm.. Overly calm, I might add
Which made me half mad
(Note: Not angry, just mad)
I just wanna knock his head cuz his timing for things is sooo bad!!
But right at the same time..
Meaning that he made us late
But Myron came later!!
!@#%!@#%
Bestfriends, so what am I to say?
If people sleep their day away,
Myron did.
Clove put her faith in Gab to get her highlighted
Which was a..
Ok, I wouldn’t say mistake..
But, not exactly the best choice either.. =.=
Bun Bun finally left my house to head to another home
Awww.. So STWWWEEET!

To Edah:
Read that you were gonna fight today~
I was sooo tempted to text you man
But I decided not to
Well cuz I think you should be focused like mad alr
And you’ll be able to show them who’s boss HAHA!!
I read up on the schedule for the games yest..
Was damn excited man!!
Andand I’m so happy that you made it though!! HWEE!
Thank God for the internet
Shall hope to see your name in the finals!! GO GIRL!!

Tourniquet

2008-10-16T00:51:00.002+08:00

Tourniquet

I feel these wounds
That of theirs
Their scars sooo deep
That by comparison
Mine would put a scratch on them

So heartbreaking
That men could be such beast
Why wouldn’t a family member help?
Why couldn’t some women stand by each other?
Why would some just allow such to happen?

Disgust; that people want a body of a child
A flower that had just began to bloom
And already trampled by such animals!!!
Against their will
Manipulate them in their fragile state
Only to torture them inhumanely
!@#%!@#%

I dread wasting my days like these
Doing making anything change.. Yet
Nothin!
Help me spark something
So I’ll flame and make something change
Stop watchin
And do the walkin
Arrest this bleeding.
Theirs and mine.

I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
I lay dying
And I’m pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I’m dying praying bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost to be saved?

My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied Christ?
Tourniquet
My suicide

My God my tourniquet
Return to me; salvation

Taboo and Games

2008-10-15T16:56:00.000+08:00

Taboo and Games

I had a really nice group
Stupid subject
Stupid faci
But I had some random fun
With Nana & Satty
Stretch for flexibility
And lets get defensive over games
(:

How’s the weather

2008-10-14T23:29:00.001+08:00

How’s the weather

A lil bit of rain
A lil bit of sunshine
In literal sense
Euphoric, baby..
I kicked the rain water sliding down the pathway
Corners of my lips just curled up
Mischievous thoughts
“Attack some random people”
Can’t. No people. No attack.
Spiral down to a simple pleasure of kicking water around

COOLNESS IS BACK!!
(mental mood: squealing in delight)
Only to leave again..
(mental mood: pouts, tinge of excitement, tinge of sadness)
I promised
I would train harder
Saw a new face
With a nice secret (not too juicy)
Predictable.. (grins)
Training, simply splendid!!

Saw some old faces
At the usual training area
Donning a new jersey
DB
Reminisces of the ugly past.. RAHHH!
How delightful to watch them play tug of war

Sulk.
Not a word from you? Why?

Bored shitless

2008-10-14T15:51:00.000+08:00

Bored shitless

I’m driving myself nuts
Can you imagine:
I’m such a no-lifer
That I actually have to blog through my class
During the break, I drove myself nuts
My incorrigible looney behaviour is acting up

Fussin’ over: SHOES!!

2008-10-14T09:45:00.000+08:00

Fussin’ over: SHOES!!

I settled for comfy flip flops
To go with my very pretty purple baju
Scan me down from head to toe
And you’ll find the contradiction between
My feet and the rest of the body

If you wanna walk around and visit
Don’t wear heels
Not even an inch
Because they kill
Sure it makes you look taller
Prettier, I guess
But yea, let’s just say I don’t mind being ugly
Wait, no, I mean sloppy!

I prolly have to wait for a few more years
Before I make a suicidal decision
To wear stilettos
I must admit that those shoes
Are really quite the assassins
To your own feet as well as others..
Well, that’s if you stepped on their feet, that is..
Stilettos.
They just make me wanna hold them
And jab someone’s eye out. (heheheheheheeee.)

I’ll stick to my ol’ fav conventional shoes
That gorgeous pair.
I adore my Nike Dunks
Because it was given to me as a gift
I float in em’
DAMN COOL!!!
So yes, I love my shoes

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYIE!!

2008-10-12T03:35:00.006+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AYIE!!

Ok, since I don’t have any pics of him
I’ll just steal one off Friendster.
(I’m not a stalker, ok.)
(And sorry boy for doin it without your permission.. NOT!!)
Ha. He’s far off in Bintan now
And yes this one’s the one who’s constantly
Oozing energy and positivity
But being human, he’s got his downs as well
If memory serves me right, I like to laugh at him
(Or his jokes, during NDP teachin us, that is)

The new found friend.
Whom I know so little of.
Tough thing to peel
He likes to squabble with me now =.=
I enjoy the times with him around
However rare the occasions are

Cliché words:
But, all the best!!
I’m really glad to have met you (:

Escape and Hide

2008-10-11T23:45:00.004+08:00

Escape and Hide

Ghastly picture of Nana&Me. Pag looks fine...

HursHursDay.

Painted skin

9 tickets for 9 girls
Really a polarized movie
Pulled some of the group to cry
Pulled me to laugh
How evil~ (shrugs)

I really felt hopeful
This group,
Fun and crazy
Zie’s funny emotions and reactions
Gosh,
God..
Thank you very much for them
Please let them stay with me
Pretty please with a cheery on top

Seems to me that people don’t really need me
But more like I need them.. alot..
Regardless of what I think/want/need
I just don’t like losing people
Momentarily or forever.
But it is necessary, ain’t it?
New people won’t walk in
Unless the old ones walk out
I’m greedy
And I want the best of both worlds

Visit Safwanaha’s house on Friday
And today reserved for silatrian’s visitin

A lorry to take us around

I was quite quiet,

Silence is Golden..

So let me bask in it

And just let the munchin' do the punchin'

Ohohoh!! Can i add that i was in a bloody pissy mood yest?
Yes, I couldn’t stand the day
And so many things suddenly bugged me
And so many things came crashin down on me
Yes, sudden outburst
Very necessary
I was only happy to welcome this emotion
Since I’ve been very unfeeling of late...

But thank you Smiggy for listenin to my ramblings..

Dear God,
What have I become?

Come back soon

2008-10-10T15:36:00.002+08:00

Boy, I pray for your presence
Here and now
Your resounding voice
I just need some advice
Some reassurance from you will do

I’m not sorry

2008-10-10T14:40:00.001+08:00

I’m not sorry

I woke to a realization
And became more aware of it now
This morning
Something I have been suppressing
Runs up to the surface

I’m not sorry this time
Because I see that I am being used
If I am not a pleasing friend as an individual
Leave me to be
I’ll be better off
Don’t fool me
Don’t use me
Take me as I am
If you feel the need to change me into someone else
Just so you can ease your disappointments
To hell with it
I am through.

Steadfast in pursuits

2008-10-08T17:26:00.002+08:00

Steadfast in pursuits

Poor lonely blog have I forsaken you?
I have been really busy hunting and chasing
And I ran out of breath
So today is the calm after the storm
So Gabby’s bunny escapade pt 2
Commenced on Sunday
Ohohoh!! Sunday...
After I met Iggy,
I went to all the way to Peninsula
How strange to see Ayie n Ayul
Didn’t tell em’ but I had this strange hunch when I entered a shop
As if I was expectin to meet the unexpected
(happily chirps)Woman’s intuition~
I am such a 3rd party, ruinin their date and all
But thankfully, I got to know Ayul just a teeny wee bit more

Triple As @LJS
First impression: Quiet as hell
But I know I am going to do away with that.
Cuz I smell the fun personality..

Rightright, back to the honey bunnies
It was insane cuz we travelled all the freakin way to Parkway
And then to some unknown region in Singapore
And then to Simei
Gosh. Gabby the sweetheart..
Actually goin through all this for his lovely girlfriend
AWWWWW~~~
I despise his toilet bowl mouth
But he’s changing in subtle ways
Or maybe I just haven’t seen this side of him yet
I wish I was a freakin artsy fasty IT geek man
I could have captured all those moments
And help him compile it for his girlfriend
Can I say that I am shamelessly add that I’m good friend (smirks)
I travelled the whole of west side with to buy a miserable bunny
Which we didn’t! RAHHH!
Had a ton of fun with Gabby though :D

PonQueen had decreed that on Monday
She shall devoid the school of her royal presence (muahaha!)
I visited the first house for Hari Raya @ Aminah’s
Gabby brought honey bun bun to my place
So after sortin for my materials (eh-hem, eh-hem hem hem)
And after the distressin calls my grandmother decide to bombard me with
I finally came home to a really adorable bun bun.
Fairly big but nice grey fur!!
And yea.
No sleep cuz I was really determined to pull “IT” off.

After seven hours I managed the glorious one.
3 more (and 1) to go.
So in school, I obviously was in freakin mad rush.

It seems that the cab couldn’t salvage the time I lost
Heartbreakingly, I missed out on their performance
Butbut, at least I saw them being clothed with our national flag
I couldn’t comprehend
Why am I feelings that don’t belong to me?
Excited nervousness and a tinge of pride
Guess I had it for them...

I really hope that she performs well
For herself

Yes, I could feel a little bit misplaced when she wasn’t there
But I am already familiar with this feelin
Z couldn’t talk cuz busy bumble as always.

Relieved when my "art pieces" were in their hands

Sad that I couldn't make time for that extra project.. GAHH!!
Pictures are memories
I loved those moments (:

I chat up with the ever “chamin” Mister (Pfffff...)
My brain wasn’t functionin, so I couldn’t think of clever lines to say
How awkward.
LOL!! But yes, I knew that to every exterior
There’s an interior
That’s what I’m after
It might be stained but it’s always more beautiful
And Raw.

I am an impertinently inquisitive person
Sorry if pry too much for my own good
Sometimes I can’t help it

Something momentarily
But I hold this one close
To the “fishin kampong”
My unglamorous beauty sleep in the hammock

Probing for an identity to ChisBrown's "Rihanna"(nudge nudge)

I shall find out soon I tell you!!
Andand to MUSTAFA!!!
Two teh tarak
One paper and one with egg and cheese
THANK YOU SO MUCH GIRL!!

Feel asleep on the couch
Thankful for the day.

I am going to miss you.
And them.
Haha.
Stayin in my prayers.

'Soon' is a long time..

Freak Out For: Fashion

2008-10-04T23:36:00.000+08:00

Freak Out For: Fashion

I feel oh, so glamorous
Lookin' super fabulous
Sometimes I'm insecure
Something I can't ignore

I can’t find my style.. yet
Such a sin in the books of fashion
That I don’t really give a damn
But I kinda wanna do. (capiche?)
No? Don’t bother thinkin then.

Such a material girl
The impulse runs through my veins again
I did it again
I should learn how to say “No”
To nice people and to myself
But I can’t convince myself to

Live Unbottoned 501:
This Chinese girl sure know how to break my barriers
Cheese. I’m tryin to save up here.
The guilt sinks in
Butbut nice Sheikh Haikal was givin out nice keychains
I cut myself some slack to get one
Well, who knew
That I looked like a nice lady
Got an extra voucher and goodie bag for that (grins)

Yes, I can’t help but be distracted of today’s objectives
Of three, I only fulfilled one.
(My Jay Chou tail, finally)
Someone please shoot me.
Disipline = Zero (Pffff!!!)

AND!! I’m still stuck in a really huge dilemma here.
(thumps head again a wall)

Thurday:
Had a nice talk with Mariem & her bf
Yes, I was evaporatin with envy here
That boy has been places and lucky you girl
For your honeymoon and all :D

Z joined us (Safwanaha&I) for dinner
Caused a din there

Friday:
My boy, KeJun’s birthday!
Yes, he changed the format, bein unique
Keep it simple @ a hawker center
A full table of pple eatin together (floats)
I had tons of helping from a dish that I was cravin’ for
Mr Brocs, officially my bestfriend. HAH!!
Didn’t have much cuz..
Meemee&Mama fed us (JieMin&I) a lil bit @SAKE~

Adjourned to the empty flat.
And I lost “quite a lot of money”
JM, I loved that you decided to walk
It gave us time to talk
I didn’t know so much happened
We’re so caught up with our lives
Fill me in..
And I hope you do the right thing.
We’re still teens. We can’t help it
Unfortunately adulthood is already strangling the youths in us
Big words like responsibility dawns in on us. (shudders)
We seem to have the same problem in extra commitments.
You ran out of reasons and I ran out of trust

Can you see sweetheart?
That I’m turnin into cynic…
But we'll be friends still.

Friends and territories

2008-10-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

Friends and territories

Formula 1: Singapore’s Night Grand Prix
Yes, I can kiss my free weekend goodbye
Helping out with the Red Cross
Two freaking whole day @ F1
Not that I mind one single bit.
Over the 2 days my ego was boosted like freaking mad
Shower the compliments on me baby!!!
Andand!!
CHEESE PIE!!!
The abundance of good lookin foreign males
TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE~~!!!
(giggles)
Yes, glad to be of service.
Nice findin friends
One of that fights with me over a few certain driver lovers
LH & FA!! (THEY'RE MINE!! ALL MINE!!!)

On the other hand
I had my fair share of drama
With the OTHER “felines”
Why, dammit.
Why do we females “fight” with each other??!!
Come on, I’m not stealing your bf

Why so SELFISH, YOU CHICKEN McNUGGETS?!

The first day had to be some “rich” woman
Was she havin a mid life crisis??
All my friend and I did was stand beside her
At this FREAKIN WIDE SPACE
This was at the sky suite.
So she decided to complain.
Right.
And worst of all she had to loudly thank the guy she complained to
(same guy who checked out passes)

DAMN OLD HAG!!!

You could thank him anonymously right?!

WHATS WITH THE SHIT ASS

SARCASM????!!!!

I was sooo bloodly pissed with her behaviour!!
Freakin Singaporeans!! It always has to be them
Did all that money actually kill your brain cells??!!
Piece of excretion!!
I swear I wanted to kick her down to the tracks!!
And let all the cars run over her!!
Seriously give us a break!
We know we don’t have the money that you/ your sugar daddy have
But we earned the right to watch ok!!!
By comin down in the early afternoon
And without pay, freakin work our ass off!!
All you had to do was grace the stupid event with heels
Champagne in hand and act like you bother to watch the freakin race.
You don’t even look like you give a shit!!
We didn’t touch the drinks provided ok!!
And there were guys with wrong passes already there!!
Were you bloody annoyed by the scent females lurking around you!!!

Yes, the second day I was presented with a prolly older woman
In charge of the ushers of smth.
Her presence I must say.. was worth less than a cent.
BLOODY INSIGNIFICANT I TELL YOU!!
To a point that she was actually talkin to me for a min or so
Standin right in front of me
I actually shifted my head pass her being to concentrate on the tracks.
After a while I noticed that she was tryin to talk to me
Great timing for the cars
They made a hell lot of noise pollution to actually block out what she sayin
I gave her my classic blur look (the “huh?”)
She repeated many times but to no avail (laughs)
She even removed her earplugs
And I wonder how that would help make me hear her =.=
So yes, when finally I could make out of what she was sayin
There goes the sarcasm again.
Why, females, why?
Can’t you speak in a nicer tone??!!
For goodness sake
Would it kill you
Would it kill anyone with our presence in some unnoticeable space
“Are you in charge of anything here?”
OH PUUURR-LEASE!!! DONT BE SMUG!!!
Of course not!!
Do you see me wearin one of your shit “Usher” shirt
No? Then why ask the stupid shit ass question?
Just tell me nicely if you don’t want me there!!
Women!!! Is it something territorial?
Or they are so freakin bored with their ageing lives,
They have to come and bully young farts like us.
Shit!!
I hope don’t become them!!
I’ll be a freakin MON-STURR!!

Note to self (if ever):

Never follow the NDP route

Cuz the NDP route is the freakin tracks.. X.X

Sat: To the tunnels!!

And onto the side of the tracks!!

Poor darl; I got a first hand witness of this Catastrophe!

Curse of the Hunkatoomuchamonmon
Speakin about monster,
I literally turned into one
On Monday that is.
Yes, I could pull off as a hideous witch.
Did I look at too many hunks?
Cuz my left eye just pulled a puffer fish on me.
Quasimodo on the left eye. =.=
CRAP!!
I had to hide under a cap on the way to the docs.
In case I freaked all the villagers out.
They all become a frenzy with their hands in the air, screamin for help
The beast has arrived. MUAHAHAHHA!!
Monday was sooo wasted cuz of
That dreadful misfortune that had fallen on me
Oh poor unlucky girl~
I’d rather a pirate than a monster.

The curse slightly liftin on Tuesday
I shall roam the Geylang streets with Abster.
(First time Ab, huh?)
Where we got really good bites
AND~~~
SAW MY SISTA EDAHH!!!!
HWEEE!!!
I stalked her at the atm.
Was damn afraid she was going to pull a Silat stunt on me.
(giggles)
Back to my RK stall
We chatted with some foreign Xchange student
(mental face: frown and sulks with envy)
Yes, she been places.
Her accent is very.. I LIKE!!

Shall share a bowl of soup with Ab.
Shiokess~
Apparently, Bugis became really ching chiong-a-fied
(can we say “sian!”?)

And NO!! I don't want his abs ON me.. (sheepishly grins)

I want it.. on me but not literally.. gosh..

How should we say this...
Too little time sweet heart. TSK!

So today.
A nice house of Yandi’s
Photography.
And Gab’s indefinite search of a pet.. rabbit?

Dive into my thoughts
And you will see
How I have fought
Each piercing memory shard
Of you sleepin within me.

Webcam.Sneeze.Forget and Dinner

2008-09-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

Webcam.Sneeze.Forget and Dinner

Yes random words.
That’s how random today is
Class must have been infested with dust particles
It triggered a massive reaction from my nose.
Needless to say I shamelessly used everybody’s packets of tissue.
Mother..

At least when I stepped out
I had a momentarily recovery
And I had some retarded fun with Nana (:
Here’s what we pulled off.

I went for Reflections meetin.
With probably millions of my brain cells already dead
My eyes were hurting so did my head.

By the time I stepped out of the school..
I realised smth.. zzzzz
I FORGOT.. MY FREAKIN’ WALLET~
WHO ON THIS EARTH FORGETS TO BRING OUT THEIR WALLET???!!!
Me, apparently.
Sorry there, K
But I enjoyed Swensen's (:
Guess you really really have alot on your mind..
Don’t stress don’t stress don’t stress
Just turn him to the left left left~~
(sniggers)

And MONA-LISA
YOUR RECOMMENDATION POWER TO THE MAX!!!
ROCKY ROAD IT IS!!! :D

Culture scream

2008-09-25T23:35:00.004+08:00

Culture scream

If you see me now.
Adding malay words into my sentences.
Yes, I’m going through a teenager thing
I’m discovering a new culture on my own
It’s not like I haven’t done it before
It was kind of mild before
So this time it kinda exploded in everyone’s faces
Meaning my family of course

Suddenly Meemee questioned me
I saw it coming
The way she called my name
There was this hesitant pause
She really wanted to know..
Whether a had bf, a malay one at that.
(defence mode: on)
So yes, why does a guy have to be the motivation behind something extreme?
Cheese~

Maybe it was too much.
Tellin her about Iftar and such
It doesn’t help that In and her friends are putting thoughts into her head
Yesyes, after I turn 21/financially independent.
This is just not my thing~
Not at the moment at least
Just let me stick to eye candies and the unreachable tasty treats
Whose faces are plastered on posters and wallpapers
That’s as far as I go
Why? Cuz I can’t handle too much shit.
I have enough in my bowels at the moment.
Don’t come and feed me some laxatives all.

Nice Zul

That's before he turned into bitchy Zul (ladii-day, ladii-doe)

And starts to make a living mockery out of me

Just for laughs..

OBERSERVE..

BEFORE:

(over-smiling again)

Zul: Pretty girl

....

TADAH! HANDSOME BOY!!!

Yes, he's sooo bitchy that I "TAK BOLEH TAHAN!!!"

So I pretty much enjoy Iftar in school yest!
As long as you feed me
All is well!!
Since we all can’t really converse
The food will speak to me!!!

Woah woah. Funny to hear Adel call me “spoilt brat”.
Stroked a chord. Haha.
You ah lian you!!
Shashalove was feelin a little down
Oh, how she detests the light..
She pulls down the blinds
Her hands are icy cold
Has the Cullens turned her into one of em.
TSK!!! BITE ME TOO!!! (hahahaha!)

OHOHOH!!! Andand, today.
I had a special delivery
In this orangey Picanto car
I was kinda expectin chocolates.
Butbutbut!! RAHHHH!!!
(pounces on my present)
Edah in the backseat~ (squeals)
Plusplus, I got a ride to the tracks
I don’t have to sweat it out in the sun

Short meeting but it perk my spirits up
Oh~~ CONGRATS ON YOU TP BIKE!!
:D Made me nervous in class only!

Let’s just say I look forward to Geylang trips
Yes under that heat trappin gazebo
Lies an abundance of blessed edibles
&clothes which bling the light out of my eyes!!
Godmama actually showed me the ropes of shoppin for baju
Much to my delight I actually found nice ones
Yes, she really has a keen eye and exp.
I have a lot to learn.

3 packets of Indian lasagne for my fam!!
(rubs hands in eager)

Godmama (whispers): Later he shy ah.. Think you wanna take pic cuz of him..

=.=

What I took away:
Clothes
Food
Fun
Time with my Godmama
A musk of all smoky things drenched in my clothes

PS. Dearest gorgeela. (giggles) I really am quite a loss for words. I don’t really know how to comfort you and all. But I hope you stay strong just as I have tried to for my case of a similar situation. If there’s a ever a time where it get’s unbearable and you need to find an escape for a little while, I’ll be here to help. I’m quite the runner (escapist) cuz sometimes I feel that I stand alone but you’ve got your sis, so look for each other like you guys have always been. I hope you see this soon (: Just take care ok~ I’m always in the hood. Thank God for Bishan~ :D Place this burden on HIS hands ok.. and let things flow..

Talk to the Lamp post.

2008-09-24T02:16:00.007+08:00

Talk to the Lamp post.

I was just wondering.
How many years has it been
I was sec 2, yes?
And I would try calling you shepherd.
We actually could keep touch despite the differences

The beginning.
It is a really good memory.
The night walk at East Coast.
Finding for a really dark skinned father at night!
XP
I loved that we wore chemo
Made a Roman’s song.
Got a leg cramp but Jem was there to carry me
I miss Jem cuz he'd teach me
I’ve always listen to him cuz he carries this immense love for God
Which got Jo infected too

I loved that it was slightly approaching Christmas.
And we sang songs with a guitar
And go around pissin people who were tryin to catch some sleep
With Christmas songs!! (smiles gladly)
I’ll NEVER forget that dawn.
When He decorated the skies
With thousands, probably millions of stars.
It effortlessly took my breath away
Such brillance

I remembered that when we prayed
We held each other’s hands in one big circle

Our hearts were so close to being in sync

Beautiful it is, that of a gatering of brothers&sisters

(B.A.S.I.C)

I remember the time that we smeared each other with black paint
Bringing the turmoil right up to the surface
It made me disappointed.

Non of them should have been made any less unworthy.

I remember the game of violent capturing

Which led to complaints of outrage

I remember the races we had
Making out territories in different parts of the church.
The songs we had in the morning.
The pure sincerity I habored to make peace with everybody
I carried Him in my heart.

I remember the promise I made
The investments that I would place at the altar.
Vividly, I remember the garden of Eden
The place where the Holy Spirit dwells, so tranquil
It was the only place I could trust my thoughts
Surrender them unto Your burdens
The sheer peace I would feel
Could never be felt here
Where the pace is too fast
When I feel that I just can’t last.

Tribe Benjamin~
This escape taught me so much
When the elders would share a piece of advice

Everything fell into place
Following up, your confirmation.
Year end dinner and dance.

This is when I had learn to love
And have learned feel loved
And burst my enthusiasm for Christ
I’d belt out His songs so loudly in the car
My heart screamin with joy.

This is.. something I want to re-live.

Something to smile for

2008-09-23T23:21:00.002+08:00

Something to smile for

The talk that I went for today
Was simply a great decision that I made
Alone again
But He knows me I prefer company
So he throws in some of my good friends
And makes the talk an enjoyable one
Mr. Memory has really impressed me
Best talk ever!!! :D

Ample to time to travel
Briefed at Singapore’s Red Cross house
I silently wished to see the 200K seats
And since He loves me in much abundance
He lifts me spirits~
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!

And the cookies are in the jar!!
I’ve been eyeing surfer mannequins already. (evilly grins “i know right~”)

Rest your head on my lap
Cuz I love that I could ease you just a little bit
I would iron the ceases on your forehead with my thumb

Brush the back of my hand against your cheek
And then soothingly slide my fingers across your hair.

It makes no sense

But it makes me wanna protect you.

Trickle

2008-09-23T00:57:00.000+08:00

Trickle

DAMN YOU!!!
WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME AGAIN!!!
FAMILY!!! RAHHHHH!!!!!!
Do you actually love for me to make a waste out of you??!!
Seriously, I don’t get you~
Did you arrange for things to clash??!!
Do you actually want me to choose!!!
Why!! When you know I can’t!!!
Dammit!!

Then again I know where I’ll be heading to already
This makes me sad.
Sad that it’s so untimely
Sad that I actually know what my decision is.
And that I’ll be missing out on a great dinner with you guys.
And that I’m disappointin you guys.
I’m sorry, especially to BaiWangZhi.

Thankfully.
You found something for me to make it up to you.
I’m glad.

URGHHHH!!!
I DON’T UNDERSTAND~
WHY DO YOU STRIKE AT ME SO MANY TIMES.
I DON’T WANNA ABUSE YOU ANYMORE.
But you just give reasons to..
I want to make a friend out you.
Please, I implore you.
Be kind.
Mr. Tickey-Tock.

Displays both little fingers

2008-09-22T23:59:00.003+08:00

Displays both little fingers

I could only laugh hysterically in class.
When we talked about near drowning incidents.
And I would rush to call Iggy, hot gossip!!
Only to be caught by his teacher.
He must be flirtin all the time for her to say that he'a flirtin again. (LOL!)
Ok, I kid, boy!
Did you have a nice visualization of yourself there?

Got my painted picture?
Standing at the window
The wolf watching his preys
The herd of sheep playing soccer
Beautiful scene of them havin PE, yes?
Knots in your stomach?
The hunger pangs,
A dry throat and the need to
Quench your thirst?
MUAHAHAHA!!
Dirty old man’s ambitions. (evilly smirks)
Shudders!!

So jojo looks shorter.
He says I look fatter.
(nods in agreement)
I feel disgustingly unhealthy.

Shall waste away..

Cos if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me,
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I can be,
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet,
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street.

The words that both my head and heart overuses:
Miss/Missing/Missed

Differently the same.

2008-09-22T15:25:00.001+08:00

Differently the same.

“It irks me when someone compliments my features. I don't know. Even the whole "I like you"/ "I think you're hot" phrase just gives me the shivers. I'm ok with people saying it to each other but just not have it directed at me. I honestly have no idea how to react to such flattery. But I give into persistance and insistance. I guess it takes a while to warm up to people. But then, yes, people always leave. So why try? We already know how it's going to end. Nothing lasts forever, better yet, so do we.”
-ANNHUANG-

(grins) How similar yet different are we? Something that lingers in my thoughts but I couldn’t have composed it better.

IT RAINS

2008-09-22T03:07:00.001+08:00

RAHH!! IT RAINS!!!! HWEEEE~

IT'S RAINING~
IT'S POURING!!!!

pure bliss.

NAH!! My answers!!

2008-09-22T02:48:00.009+08:00

NAH!! My answers!!

1. What disappoints you the most
Failure

2. Where will you go if someone sponsors you a tour ticket?
~~The city of angels~~ HARAJUKU HAVEN!

3. How many ex. you have?
None, thank God!!

4. Do you think money can buy happiness?

Most of the time. It’ll definitely make life a hell lot easier!

5. If you can have one dream to come true, what would it be?

Fly around the world & go places, have adventures to thrill and live life freely. That’s the ultimate!

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?

Are you insane?! Of course not!! Unless I become some jungle girl.. That would be a different story then..

7. What are you afraid to lose the most?

Control, time, my mind, myself, the people I cherish and the memories I have with them

8. If you win a million, what would you do?

Oh, I’ve had this discussion with so many people and Meemee already knows. LOL!!
Ok, get my house a freakin cool renovation!! Have a bloody gorgeous kitchen where I can conjure all my dishes of love and get a nice big dining table for the family to gather and eat!!
Donate some money for major charitable organizations like WWF and Lance Armstrong. (where they actually don’t embezzle funds **hopefully not..) Erm. I’ll save some aside for myself, probably go on trips to see places!! If there’s still cash, get my damn cool ride, use whatever money that I orginally have to pimp it up.

9. What do you dream of doing in the future?

My fate has already been decided as some of you already know. It’s top secret and it's what I really wanted to do. After that, I wanna try and go to be a pilot, if that fails, join a flight crew and fly around. If given the chance I wanna practice medicine or law. So many aspirations, so little time. Instead practicing medicine, I’ll probably hang around in the lab and make friends with some microorganisms and wash the test tubes.

10. Have you have any regrets?

Not at the moment, but I use to.

11. What makes you happy?

To excel in what I love doin, experiencing, to enjoy and live in moments of laughter and happiness.

12. What type of person do you hate the most?

Hate is powerful, it’s a mutation of love. I don’t really hate people, it’s more of situations that I’m in with them.. (shrugs)

13. Where do you see yourself 10 years down the road?

Having a taste of the high life? (smirks) Loving life, living oh-so-freely!!

14. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

Having Peter Petrelli’s power, spongin other’s people’s power!! HEH!! Soo I’ll be able to fly, copy people’s traits and talents, read people’s minds but I don’t wanna constantly hear them all the time. It’s a perverse world.. Selectively would be good~ Ohoh!! Flash’s power of speed, power to control elements!! Woah!!! Piang piang!!! (rattles on and on and on)

15. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
God, rightfully. Happiness not letting time waste away. People.

16. Any childhood memories that you'll like to re-live?

The BIG Christmas party in my house. Big gatherin and many people!! Andand the time when uncle Paul brought me to wakeboard with Meemee and the time he drove me around in his mighty fly, ultra high sports car while he blasts techno over the stereos with the wind in my hair. :D I’ll never forget those moments.

17. Who are your best buddies?

Ann. Iggy. Gab&Myron. Jiemin&Sihui. The Cheena Crew (Vince&Sheng). The twins&the cooking crew. Von&By. Mad. Jo. Johnne,Ben&Yingz. K. Bai Wang Zhi&Rul, not forgeting the skating crew. E+Z= EZ!!

&Godmama

***Meemee!!!~~

Each of them supports me in the different aspects of my life. Some new beginnings but nevertheless, best buddies. There are more names that I have failed to mention I know, just know that each of you has a special placing with me.

18. Which cartoon character you like most?
Cardcaptor sakura (never got over her) & Kō Shūrei, both very influential women, in different context~ (omg the seriousness when i’m actually talking about cartoons..)

19. Are you courageous enough to go and tell the person that you like him/her?

No, I never initiate anythin cuz I’m quite the chicken shit. But actions always speak louder than words and girls make it way too obvious. (that might inculde me, i emphasize MIGHT)

20. Are you in love?

NO, wth. But I like people to think that I am, since I act like I’m in a drunken stupor for no reason. OH I LOVE TO MISLEAD PEOPLE!! (smirk)

Songs that speak

2008-09-21T03:51:00.000+08:00

Songs that speak

That is why we love music so much right
Cuz they put our feelings so beautifully into words.
They commune our emotions into their songs.
And funny that our emotions are so mainstreamed
Almost none of the human emotions is unique
That’s why so many so the songs we hear is labelled “mainstream”
Too many people just feel the same/similar way.
Exclude those with good beats&lyrics that make no sense.
We shall concentrate on the ones that speak for us.

I’ve had this friend.
She had her heart shattered
She listened to a band that just sang
The feelings she couldn’t comprehend.
It prolly made her feel better
It was her outlet
As if someone actually knew how she felt
How ironic is that.
That musicians would pen lyrics from our hearts
And string it up with a unnerving melody
Tunes that would somehow break our barriers
A temporary escape, yes?
They are just mere humans
Like us..
Except that they are blessed with talent
And have be given the chance to sell their
Raw fervour in music.

Explains why my best friend hates songs that she loves
To go on radio
They become less personal

While I am just plain selfish
I don’t like to share my arsenal of songs
Even though most of them are probably mainstreamed
I feel a little conscious when people randomly go through my music
I’d protect those that I have specially found.
I don’t know why.
Weird child.
I’ve been less of such though.
I gave songs of encouragement.
And one of being heartbroken.
K, honoured right~ (:

Songs, how they speak
Suppose they are meant for one person in this world..
I’d write for you if I could..

Sinister smile

2008-09-20T23:20:00.008+08:00

Sinister smile

I ditch my music for the long journey
I was a little worried
I knew I was too new
And no it’s not a God-given talent
I would have to snatch this one

My thoughts entertained myself again
Thank God for this wonderful mind.
I could weave situations and places
That I would wanna put myself in.

Probably lack the sleep
And I would learn of how sucky
Slow and weak my kicks were
That it wouldn’t put a dent on a marshmallow!!
I would try and concentrate
But my habitual laugh of nervousness
Puts me out of focus again.
DAMN. Not good.

Yes, somehow I just love to disappoint myself.
On the brighter note.
I saw the people that I wanted to see.
Spoke to people that I haven’t spoken to in a long time.
May seem short for them
My fondness of them amplifies time, I think.
(shrugs)

Use my phone somemore!!! LOL!! Mine survived the toilet bowl lehh!! Can your FIVE-MEGAPIXEL HANDLE THAT KINDA OF TRAUMA OR NOT?? (LOL!!)

I lost the verbal fight before it started.

KNOCKED OUT!
1-0
Cuz of the name Ama.
It sounds awful and in a context of 2 languages,
It means something unflattering
Crampin’ my style.
Edah just laughed @me
She didn’t defend me, not like when Z started kicking me.
They left. And my conversations with them were short.
Roo still finding girls for the team (LOL!!)
I would if not for my absolute incompetence.

When I'm more worthy, yes?

Since I had to be Bukit Timah, I couldn’t break fast with em.
Of course there was this slight stir of disappointment.

Here I reprimanding him for givin me names,
And there I was giving him more.
Mine were not insulting at least.
“What cool name shall i grant thee den miss??”
MUAHAHAHA!! This one is really one of a kind. (:

On the other hand,
I was really having a good time @the William Booth Corp
The abundance of food!!!!
This is too easy.
Pleasing me, that is
Just have a big feast or give me real good food.
Simple!!!
The way to my heart is through my stomach.
So much for the quote when it’s actually intended for men.
GOSH!!

They had pizza and baked food!!!
Baked!!! Anything baked is God sent!!
Seriously, I think that God has this really huge oven in heaven
Where He would bake all the glorious masterpieces!!
So yes! I got to the table quite quickly to attack.
Gluttony; one of the seven sins. TSK! Amanda, shame on you.
My favourite songs were playin;
Felt like God was probing at my heart again. (grin)

We watched some racing movie.
The language for coolness was really overwhelmin’
Super flabbergasted man!! (omg, sounds like Fabregas!!! nudge nudge)
The major’s birthday so we had this really cool choc cake!
Of which your personal glutton took 3 slices of.
Bimbo D was saying: I am your shepherd
I was immediately thinkin of the next line he was going to say
Which was: And you are my pie.
But he said: And you are my sheep (the politically correct ans)
So I told him that what I was really thinkin of was Shepherd’s Pie.
We make a really good bimbo pair :D (snaps fingers, eyes to the side)

My little rebels: Bimbo D, SweetHrt & Arasan!! (:

Von’s mummy sent us back
Her ride was really neat!
And she really funny
She made nervous
Cuz she needed directions.
Directions while drivin’
Not my fav..

Jesus, I appreciate the day.
Thank you for the people that you have brought into my life.

A word that have been repeated alot today:
Choice(s)
(closes eyes and wonders)